blondie073's Journal

I don't know why, but Emma called me. Well, I do know why. Aaron asked to meet with her, then talked to her after I told him not to. She called me to tell me I deserve better and shoud dump his sorry ass. She called me to tell me I deserve a best friend who will listen to me and give to me and treat me the best. She called to tell me she doesn't want to try again because she knows we'll get hurt. She called me to rant to my about my boyfriend, and stir up shit.

I don't want to believe her. Maybe she's right. Maybe he is being an asshole and I deserve a lot better, but what if this is all I'm going to get? I don't want to dump him because when he's with me he tells me he loves me. He's never hurt me physically, or raped me, or said mean things to my face. He's better than everything I've had in the past. I don't know why I find myself in these positions. Drama seems to find me.

I'm in love with this song, Tug of War, by Carly Rae Jepsen. She's amazing, and Canadian. Which I love. I also love her adorable accent. And her cute lips. She's such an amazing person, inside and out.

Oof. School has exhausted me, but I love all my classes and love my friends. This is going to be my year. Definitely.

To me, when Emma says: "I don't want to try to be friends again, because one of us is going to get hurt" it really means: "I want to try to be friends again, but I'm afraid I'll get hurt". This is sad, but cute. I don't really want to be friends again. Though her small conversation lasted an hour and forty minutes. So maybe she's trying to inch her way back into my life. Jesus. This is not what I wanted this year. I'm happy with the friends I have.

She also lied to me, which she's now confessing. Or maybe she's lying now, to cover her ass. Hmm. Either way, she's lying, which I don't appreciate.

I'm tired. Grr. I have to take more allergy meds, and I think the urinary tract infection is back again, so I'll need new meds for that, too. This sucks, being so sick so early in the year. Fuck this. I'm tired. Go away now. Bye bye.