blondie073's Journal

118 days.

Tai's under house arrest until everything gets figured out. His mom suspects it might be true what I said, and it is, but she still kind of thinks I'm lying. I don't know why, I would never lie about being abused by Tai.

Meeka, Tai's little sister who is constantly being abused by him, told me to fuck off and get out of their family business. She told me I was stupid and Tai wasn't abusive. I brought up several incidents where he had hurt her, and she said she deserved it, that it was her fault.

I know that neither Meeka nor me deserved to be abused by Tai, and if I have to be the one to get hated for this, then so be it, because I want him to get help. I don't want him to get in trouble at all, just to get help.

Meeka said he was already getting help and I didn't belong in this situation, but I told her that obviously the help wasn't working if he was still hurting people. And that if I had been abused by him then I obviously was involved because he's hurt me.

I was talking to Meera about some of the stuff he did to me and he's molested me, if not raped me, a few times. I laughed it off, even though I was hurting inside, because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Some friend he is if he has to always hurt me, physically and emotionally.

He told his mom I had told everyone at school that he was abusing me, but I told Meera, that was it. He also said I was lying. Emma, my very best friend, said she didn't know who to believe because we were both her friends. We got into many fights over the weekend as I tried to get her to see that I wouldn't lie about this, and after many tears and shouting she admitted she had believed me all along but didn't want to believe because it's so sick.

I thought that everyone would hate me at school for trying to ruin Tai because everyone in every grade loves him. But I got an Honesty Box message last night saying: "I heard about Tai and you didn't deserve what he did to you. What a douche". I replied, saying I wasn't sure people would believe me, and the person said: "Why wouldn't we believe you? I don't know you that well but I'd believe you over Tai any day". So maybe people won't hate me, like I've been thinking. I know a few people will, but I guess I can handle that, as long as Emma's there for me, like she promised.

God, I didn't know being abused by a friend could be so tough. No one sees me the same anymore, even though it's the same girl I've been all along, even through the abuse. Now they treat me like I'm fragile again, and even though I am, I know how to take care of myself. They should know that.