mickeyg's Journal

Hi Everyone...
I cant believe it's been so long since I posted a journal entry...i have been going through some pretty serious shit...Grandma isnt doing good at all...It's to be expected, I know this because I lost my Mom to cancer too...Erik is working a new shift at school, so I have had him home at nights now...Andrew is working alot which is good for him, & he's also going to school...Im really proud of him...Kourtnie has brought all of her grades back up to A's & B's...Evefr since her biological mom contacted her 2mos ago, her life kinda fell apart...She's really come along way....It's been hard...Her mother abandoned her when she was 6yrs. old...She had come for a visit with us, & ended up telling me that she had been being molested by her 13yr old baby-sitter & his 2 brothers for almost a year...Well, we went through the proper steps, & Bequi just kinda dropped out of the picture...Never sent her a card, letter, present, or anything else...For 7 yrs we heard NOTHING & then all of the sudden...there she was...she had googled my name & THIS SITE led her straight to me!!!AAARRRGGGHHH!!!It was hell for awhile there, but Kourtnie, true to herself, has come through this stronger & better than ever...
for those of you who remember...I went to Stanford University for the extensive testing to appease my work comp people that there is indeed something terribly wrong with me...They agreed...there is...BUT...They want me off of the actiq...for good...the research they showed me, & the fact that if I continue to take it, it could either kill me, or leave me so dependant on it that i couldnt handle a simple headache without it, led me to agree with them...So...After our cruise in June,I will be checking into Stanford for an 8wk., extensive detox & re-training...They are going to teach me to live with my pain...I will still receive a low dose of pain killers, but for the most part, they want me to get my life back...Be able to get through a day without such massive doses of narcotics that I putting my life in jeopardy...Once that realization settled in, I was pretty stoked about it...Now im scared to death!! Its amazing what a couple of days can mean! I have been on this shit for a VERY long time...In some form or another, I have been taking hard-core narcotics for 5yrs!! I sure would appreciate your guys' continued support & prayers...thanks...I love you all, & am sorry that I havent been here lately for all of you...i am going to try my hardest to do better ok...Please just try to understand what im going through though & dont get mad if im not on for a couple of days...things are getting kinda crazy in my life right now...thanks everyone,I love you all very much &
pray that you are doing well...please get back to me & let me know how all of my friends are doing ok!?

Blessings & love...
Michelle