Ok so I was doing ok....
August 6, 2009 6:16am
Then I fell!
I am so upset! I am crying and hysterical!
Please, give me the strength to end this.
Progress
5 %
MandyNZ
5:04am, July 8, 2009
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About Me
MandyNZ
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About Me
I am a 26 year old female who lives in Auckland, New Zealand. I have always lacked self-confidence. I struggle day to day with major depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder as well as bulimic tendancies. I'm basically one fucked up individual.
I am a 26 year old female who lives in Auckland, New Zealand. I have always lacked self-confidence. I struggle day to day with major depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder as well as bulimic tendancies. I'm basically one fucked up individual.
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Interests
Playing pool, listening to music, going for road trips, painting. Cemetaries, dark places, night time, vampires. Photography, poems, art.
Playing pool, listening to music, going for road trips, painting. Cemetaries, dark places, night time,
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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I'm hanging on by a thread!
July 19, 2009 2:14am
I'm here, but barely!
How much longer do I need to feel this?
When will I get what I want and deserve?
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Pain
July 16, 2009 1:24am
Is this the only thing I'm meant to feel in life?
When will I stop feeling the pain?
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So after going to the hospital a few weeks ago
July 15, 2009 12:53am
I was meant to be being referred back to Mental Health Services.
Yet I am still to hear back from them!
Surely I shouldn't be waiting …
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So I'm still feeling a little bit down....
July 10, 2009 10:34pm
More than usual anyways.
I cant get him out of my head!
He's hurt me sooo much, and humiliated me, and I want revenge. Which I …
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
I first harmed myself at the age of 12, now almost 12 years on, I still do it. Some times I can go for months without hurting myself, then other times, its a matter of hours.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Not Working
- Too many triggers!
- Outpatient Treatment Program Considering
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I hate it!
- Talking Not Working
- Talking never works.
- Tattoos Not Working
- I have 6! I still cut myself! Although my latest one is on my right arm, so I dont cut there!
- Celexa Too Soon to Tell
- Its too early to see what it does.
Close Sexual Abuse
I was raped at the age of 12. Also sexually abused by a family friend's son from the age of 7 to 10.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I dont really feel anything from it. I dont think its helping me really overcome it all.
Open Rape
I was raped at 12 years old, it still haunts me to this day. The guy didn't get done for it, which makes it even worse, knowing he's still out there! I blamed myself for years.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I dont like reliving the past!
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Not really sure what else to say about it.
Treatments
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I suffer from PTSD as a result of being sexually abused, emotionally and psychologically abused as well as raped.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- I love music! Its one of my passions.
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- Doctor took me off it because of the bad press about it.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Ugh!
- Rape Counseling Not Working
- Hated it.
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- I have been on it for 3 years.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
I smoke pot, daily. I smoke it to escape reality for a while, as well as medicinally for back pain that I have.
