Journal

If someone had told me 2 years ago that today I would feel so happy and at peace, I probably wouldn't have believed it.

To all of you incredible people who kept me company when I was walking through Hell:

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I'M INLOVE AGAIN <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

The X is at it again. Threatening and being nasty.

I don't think he realizes I've moved on and have absolutely no fear of him.

He still tries to intimidate and abuse me. 

He doesn't realize I'm a different person today.

I found this book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Here's what he says about abuse:

"... nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves... True, we find people who say their husband or wife, or mother or father, abused them, but you know that we abuse ourselves much more than that. The way we judge ourselves is the worst judge that ever existed...
   In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.
   If you abuse yourself very badly, you can even tolerate someone who beats you up, humiliates you, and treats you like dirt. Why? Because in your belief system you say, "I deserve it. This person is doing me a favor by being with me. I'm not worthy of love and respect. I'm not good enough."
   ... The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse..."

I think at some point the X will get the message across:

I LOVE MYSELF TOO MUCH TO ALOW HIM TO ABUSE ME!