colindove's Journal

KNOWING THE TRUE YOU !

Where did this come from the years of depression

Which took over my body, placing my brain in recession

sapping my life with it's painfulness of strife

draining my courage black-mooding my life

The ease of living and loving,... I long to go back

But the confusion of mind makes a blurr of that track !

Tis like fighting through a jungle the signs have no names

The Dr's seem quiet , and as we exchange our puzzled 'games'

Yet my freedom is out there.....yet it hides like my fate

And whatever seemed worth-while, clear as powder on a slate

Oh Yes! you seem dear friend and pity a person as I

Who's nightmare are so vivid to wake is to die

and then to sleep is a gesture of insignificant worth

One escapes to the bed...and prays for rebirth 

If in understanding dear friend , this wordful note

If not you may chuckle, "let him drown don't keep him afloat!"

Yet my new friends are my tablets, they seem to understand 

I cannot do it alone they indeed show me their hand 

For depression for those outside...they cannot see

Yet I am convinced that depression is but 1/100th of me.

Days , hours, minutes e.l.o.n.g.a.te the day

the sun shine bright what a sparkling day colin..........or so they say!

Then it's back to my bed till that day/year finally ends

And sleep alone with my tablets who each are now my closest friends 

Tomorow , tomorrow.. if it wer'nt so much the same 

3 things I have written , I will attempt yet again.

So if you too find it puzzling to know the true you

Don't search the vacant mind, it will give you no clue

Nor ponder on the reflecton, in the mirror you'll not find

For tis but the illness , you see, we are, we are, we are !

Yet can you end the story there,.. some may inquire and ask ?

Yes, be pleased with who you really are the illness is a changing task

But courage will flow to show your strength

And make good use of all your time

Hey you're a friend of mine

If not for this troublesome time we would never ever met

And been through the college of experience so deep 

We can reach down soon some time to come and ease anothers sleep.

So dear Dr's unplug your unlistening ear and help us to feet

For with your help and friendship our depression will be beat. 

Now after all I have gone through I am much wiser for the journey

For I know myself, is still myself.................And I am pretty fond of me! And you!

Oh yes! I can often still,....... feel the fellow on the right,

Yet I am absolutely sure his image ,.......just isn't the person I am,.. True to me