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psyche 
I spoke to my exboyfriend today for the first time in about 8 months and all the anxiety and sadness came rushing back. I still don't why he left me why he left me and other people still call him a loser but even after all these years I love him. I miss him. Everything about him. We had alot of bad times and we are both to blame, but I love him. I'm I a fool? or a fool in love? I doubt that my family would approve, but I truly don't want anyone else. I have no desire for anyone else.....what a fool I am. But maybe this is tough love. Who knows.....please help me to find the strength to accept what ever happens.
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Today is the 4th anniversary of my step dad's death. He died at home of cancer and since I'm a nurse, along with Hospice, I was his primary caregiver. He died in my arms at about this time of night. I loved this man so very much. My own father had been physically, sexually, almost every kind of abuse. He died in May of 1990 and I don't even think of his dying. But today being Bob's date has made me a wreak. I was ok till I went to bed and all the tears came pouring out. He treated my Mom like a Queen and he was so good to me. I miss him so much and loved him so. My mom died 2 months later and I know that it was from a broken heart. I lost my whole family with in 2 months because as soon as my mom died my full brother quit talking to me and has yet to speak to me. I have a wonderful step brother and step sister. My ex left me as soon as the money ran out and my depression got extremely bad. To this day he does not see that he has any role in my break downs.....I wish that I could get a message from Mom and Dad just to know that they are having fun and are together and that I love them both so much.
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(((((Susan)))) i'm so sorry for your losses. i know, it hurts so much.
love you,
nita :)
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I hope that they visit you in your dreams and let you know how they are so proud of you and that they are together again and at peace for eternity. I am sorry for the catastrophic chain aof events and am hoping that you will find better times soon. Grief hurts so badly. Hugs and strength to you my dear friend.
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psyche im sorry to hear.. i still see u cant let u go ex go hunni move on do not let him now he is still gettin to u or it will keep on eating you alive.. its nice to see u again.
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My mother passed away when I was 17. That was 12 years ago. It comes and goes as far as that overwheming grief. The hardest part is accepting it. I know how you feel. It's really tough. I found talking about it helped a bit. But, everyone is different. Lots of love and support my way!
I'm in the process this morning waiting to find out my fate. Will I be going to the program today or not until Monday. Either way some nice people are coming to get my dog and kitten. So here's the rub. If I don't go to the program until next week I won't have my dog or my kitten and I'll be lost. And pissed off that I didn't get in. The animals know that something is going on and the tension is high in the house. I've already called crisis 3 times today and just wanting to hear. I hate having my fate in others hands but don't we all in some way; the other driver's on the road, etc. I just want a resolution. And the strength to handle it.
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You have got the strength to handle it, you showed that by writing this. *hugs*
Here for you hunni xxxx
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Just hold on and breathe ...
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Honey, everything will be ok...please, just be willing to let the people at the hospital help you, ok?
love you!
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Stay focused on energy spent only on healing and positivity.
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Don't sweat the animals. They will eat, pee and crap with or without you. And their lives will dramatically improve only after YOUR life dramatically improves. Helping yourself will help the animals.
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I CAN relate. I was without my husband for almost 2 years adn the first time I heard his voice again I knew I was still in love with him. YES we were BOTH to blame for the divorce and YES my family REFUSES to speak to me because I came back, but whatever! Follow your heart honey that is my only advice!
dazedanconfusedd
I had my ex GF leave me....totally blindsided me. I tried to commit suicide among other things. I had NO contact for 7+ months and decided I was getting past it so wanted her to know I held no ill will. I emailed her, one thing ed to another and we were reconciling........until the day she was to move back with me and she dumped me all over again...OH the pain of that! You know what? Just a week or so later I was totally over the hump and felt nothing. That is what I needed to get totally beyond her and towards the rest of my life. I feel nothing now, nothing at all.
Maybe this is what it will take for you to get past the hump...now that you've spoke to him, give it a little more time and hopefully those feeling you held will be a thing of the past so you can move on.
Sorry to make this so long, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone AND that you can get past it and on with your life :)
Kaino
im sorry this is still hurting you hunnie xxx
happychix