Monte's Journal

It has been a while since I have been here , a lot has happened in the time that I have been away . I have decided that I am not going to make that long trip back to Alburqurque to see the pain doc .All that he wants to do is give me shots that don`t work and up my med`s so that I feel dopped up all the time . I hate feeling like that even for a minute . I did find out that there is a pain doc here that I can go and see and he dosen`t like giving injections any more than I like getting them and he will try and work around the med`s and get something that won`t make me feel so doppy .

Brenda`s Dad passed away  on my birthday .Didn`t have a very good birthday. He was 84 and as mean as they come but he was her Dad .We did get to see our nephew and his baby boy though and had a great time with them even though the rest of the family dosen`t like him ,he is like the son that we never had so we are out of favor with the rest of the family. I couldn`t believe that they weren`t going to let him know that his Grand dad had passed away .That is just not right he is a family mamber and deserves the right to be there at the funeral just as much as the others do . So now our lives are less complicated because we are considered the outcast of the family ,oh well if that is the way they want to be then I am not going to try and mend fences with them because it is not my problem but thiers. I will miss the neice and nephews but I can`t make there mother understand that family is family reguardless of what someone else says or does. Al that I can do is feel sorry for thier loss and go on with life and pray that one day they will wake up and understand that all of this mess was started by a big lie and the person that started it is going to have to pay for what she has done.