It is very sunny today and I'm …
It is very sunny today and I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. It is always very hard to be upbeat and happy …
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Monte 
This has been one long and painful week , but I am glad that at least the new pain doc has given me some thing stronger to combat the pain . It has at least kept me going for the most part . I know that it would work better if my family would just understand that I can`t do the things that I used to be able to do . Part of the problem is me not knowing how to tell them that I can`t help them do stuff like moving my brothers old vehicles out to my Dad`s place for storage . Not that he will ever do anything with them like fix them up so that he can enjoy them , but just so they will set and rust to the ground . My Dad looks at me as if I don`t look like I am disabled so he just pushes my buttons and then my brother who has been at some of my doctors appointments and even came to Denver to my decompression and cord de teathering surgery pipes in and then I get ticked off and do things that I know I shouldn`t just because I am mad at them for asking me or goading me into it . You would think that I would learn , just to let it go but for some reason I can`t seem to do it . Even if I know that It is going to cause me severe pain I still push myself to do it . I know that my being disabled from work bothers me more than it should but I can`t help feeling that I am letting my wife and family down because of it . I hope that this makes sence to some of you . I just can`t help but feel bad about not being able to go to work and do something productive , even if it isn`t much . I am the kind of person that I did like working and doing my job to the best of my ability . I know that from the pain that I suffer that there is no way that anyone would hire me , especially if I had to pass a physical . I did a job coaching rehab once when I was working for the Postal Service and for two day`s after that I was out of commission because of the pain in my back and the migraines got worse during that time. I don`t think the Postal Service would have liked the customer complaint `s of having me throw up on thier mail , would not have been a good thing at all . Any how back from chassing those rabbits agian , my new pain doc didn`t prescribe any narcotics because I flat refused to take them but he did up my dosage of Cymbalta (for neurologic pain and depression) from 20mg 3 times a day to 60mg all at one time and gave me prescription strength advil at 800mg 3 times a day . It did help like I said until my family started in on me to help move a bunch of old stuck clunkers . The one thing that I talked to my pain doc about though was that I didn`t want to go through any more faccett injections but I got a call from his office on Wednesday asking me to set up an appointment to have them done , I got upset and told the person that called that there was no way that was going to happen because I had done those in Lubbock , Tx.and they didn`t work at all so why should I putr myself through the pain of having them done agian and then having to either drive or ride the 248 miles back to Clovis . She appologised and told me that when I came back for my follow up metting that I should talk agian with the doc ,I said that I would but if he thinks that he can talk me into it he has another thought comming.IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN .
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Monte, I feel the same way you do. To look at me people think there's nothing wrong with me and I get the same thing you do too. But I finally learned how to say NO!!!! At first it was hard but now it's quit easy. I've always taken care of others and now it's time to take care of myself. Saying no gets alot easier and if you piss someone off oh well. You have to think of you and your wife. As far as the injections goes. I will not have anymore either. I've had every kind you can think of and it nevers works. It's the way the doctor's make thier money. I've spent too much on them for them NOT to work. I hope to have a Happy Day today. When someone wants you to do something just think about what I've said. I promise it gets alot easier. You always have a friend in me. Many Hugs to you and Brenda, Peach
peachbutterfly