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moonstar
Female, 101, Not Quite Heaven, CO
"R.I.P. Jon ~"
7:51pm, November 11, 2009

  • About Me

    Image of moonstar

    moonstar

    Female, 101, Single
    Not Quite Heaven, CO, USA
    Member since April 24, 2007

    • About Me

      Nature heals me & I love art. I'm trying to heal from panic attacks which started in childhood. And also depression and trauma from a childhood of emotional & physical abuse. I've had to deal with a lot of death since I was under 2 yrs. old. Despite the pain in my life, I've always feel a deep peace from nature, which has saved my life so far. I've been able to release a lot of the bad things that have happened to me. But I think I still have some grief over losing my mother so young. Also my boyfriend & his father both committed suicide. I loved them deeply and I feel so alone. I can say that what I've been through has pushed me very close to Spirit/God. I hope to finally, once and for all... move beyond the pain and be free. If what I've been through can help anyone else, I'll be grateful & glad to try to help.

      Nature heals me & I love art. I'm trying to heal from panic attacks which started in childhood. And also depression and trauma from a childhood of emotional & physical abuse. I've had to deal with a lot of death since I was under 2 yrs. old. Despite the pain in my life, I've always feel a deep peace from nature, which has saved my life so far. I've been able to release a lot of the bad things that have happened to me. But I think I still have some grief over losing my mother so young. Also my boyfriend

    • Interests

      I love art, nature, and gentleness. I resonate with silence, poetry & animals. My life is about learning & healing. I love metaphysics & anything spiritual. I believe in prayer & the power of the love. I'm also a free spirit & can be kinda wild in a good way...like walking barefoot in the snow & sticking my tongue out to taste the the rain:))

      I love art, nature, and gentleness. I resonate with silence, poetry & animals. My life is about learning

  • Journal

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  • Photos

  • Goals

    To be more positive.

    Progress

    15 %

    Goal End Date is Jan 28, 08 663 days ago.
    To sell my art & poetry.

    Progress

    95 %

    Goal End Date is Jun 18, 10 209 more days.
    to paint again

    Progress

    75 %

    Goal End Date is Mar 23, 08 608 days ago.

  • Support Groups

    • Close Panic Attacks

      I have suffered from panic attacks since I was 11 years old. I got no treatment, only abuse. I also eventually got very depressed since I missed out on so many "normal" things in life. It makes me feel so alone and sad.

      Treatments

      Psychotherapy Not Working
      tried many times in the past, but prayer works better.
      Meditation Working / Worked
      12 step program really works. also just personal prayer.
      Music Working / Worked
      life savers for me.

    • Close Depression
      Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

      I've been depressed for quite a while now. My living situation now is hard, and had 4 people, my father, my boyfriend, and 2 very close friends died back to back of each other. Two were suicides. I hope to feel happy again, and overcome my artist's block so I can paint again.

      Treatments

      Elavil Somewhat Helpful
      Started taking a low dose at night about 4 weeks ago. I'm sleeping better & so far think I feel a little more positive
      Meditation Working / Worked
      I love it! It really does work.
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      This is one thing that always helps:)
      Psychotherapy Not Working
      I don't believe in therapists any more. Most of them focused too much on negativity. I usually felt worse.
      Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
      I don't have Family, but support from Daily Strength Friends is really helping.
      Walking Somewhat Helpful
      Walking usually calms me down & lifts my mood.
      Writing Working / Worked
      Journaling & especially writng poetry really helps me.

    • Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

      Was beaten, shaken, thrown into walls, screamed at and told I was stupid & hated form 3yrs.old til I left home. Also was raped.

      Treatments

      Abuse Counseling Not Working
      made me worse to keep reliving the past.
      Art Working / Worked
      helps, but takes a long time, but the healing is permanent.
      Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
      it works if i feel the anger and then let it go. denying my anger or any of my feelings hurts me in the end.

    • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      I know I have this bad. It's too much to go into now, but the fear at every noise I hear & dreams of the one who hurt me are awful. Will I ever be the same again? Will I ever be able to be at peace & trust someone again? I hope so, but I wonder.

      Treatments

      Art Working / Worked
      Drawing & painting helps, but I'm too scattered to do it right now.
      Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
      Used to belong, but no meetings out here... but reading the literature again is helping a little...
      Music Somewhat Helpful
      Kind of...

    • Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety

      I get panic attacks when I'm around people. It started when I was 12 & has stopped me from having a normal life.

    • Open Financial Challenges

      I just lost my job due to a very sick & irrational woman boss. I can't collect any benefits as I was a "independant contractor." I'm worried and traumatized by how I was treated so unfairly.

      Treatments

      Budgeting Somewhat Helpful
      There's not much to budget, but I never eat out or go anywhere. It must help a little, but it's very depressing.
      Earn Money Somewhat Helpful
      I earn as much as I can. I live in the "middle of nowhere" and am single. What I earn goes right back out again for bills & food.
      Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
      When I keep telling myself everything will work out and I have the strength to get thru this...it helps for a while.

    • Open Self-Injury

      moonstar hasn’t entered any details for this support group.

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