chetfam

Close Widows & Widowers

On 9/1/07 - suddenly and without warning - my husband of 19+ years literally dropped dead leaving me devastated and still raising two teenagers. But through many dark nights of overwhelming grief and pain my faith in God has been my rock, my kids have been my inspiration, family and friends have been faithful, and I have refused to become the "living dead." From the start of this grief journey I have remained determined to grow BETTER not BITTER as I build for the next chapter of my life.

Treatments

Grief Counseling Working / Worked

Completed a 13-week GriefShare course at a local church. Helped me to deal with the many stages and overwhelming feelings of grief.

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

Perhaps I just never found the right counselor. It seemed like a waste of money.

Reading Working / Worked

I read every book I could get my hands on about grief. There were a few that really stood out for me: "A Grief Observed" (CS Lewis), "Traveling Through Grief" (Zonnebelt/DeVries), "Lament for a Son" (Wolterstorff), "The Year of Magical Thinking" (Didion), and "A Severe Mercy" (Vanauken).

Prayer Working / Worked

I spent endless hours in prayer. Oftentimes this was through song. This sounds corny but old hymns were the most comforting to me. I would sit with a hymnbook and read the lyrics. The people who wrote these songs clearly experienced much loss and sorrow in this life, yet their hearts were filled with HOPE and even JOY. I gained so much strength from this.

Writing Working / Worked

I spent endless hours journaling about my thoughts, my fears, my anger, my loss, my agonizing pain, and my tentative hopes for the future. I wrote poetry, short stories, prayers, words from songs, memories, etc. This was very therapeutic for me and I think it really helped me work through so much of the confusion of grief.

Crying Working / Worked

The Bible tells us in the Psalms that God saves our tears in a bottle. I often wondered what that really meant. Now that I have grieved so deeply I believe that our tears are really prayers to God, so they are precious to Him and He saves them. I know I didn't cry a "bottle" of tears -- my tears could have filled a reservoir!

Physical Exercise Working / Worked

Setting small physical goals for myself made a HUGE difference in my level of depression. I started out running half a block and 2 years later I'm preparing to run a half marathon! Achieving physical goals these past 2 years has really helped me move forward into a new and far different future than I ever imagined prior to grief.

Education (School) Working / Worked

I went back to college full-time (since I never finished the first time around). It was extremely stressful and at times overwhelming, but I kept at it and have now completed a nursing program and am preparing to take my State Boards. I believe school kept me too stressed to be depressed! Plus I met lots of people and expanded my horizons to explore many areas of life I would not otherwise have encountered.