PaZap

Open Anger Management

I would like to learn healthier ways to handle my anger.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

Open Bipolar Disorder

So, in the spring of 2008, shit finally hit the fan to the point where everyone could tell i wasn't doing alright, and needles to say, i ended up going to a psychiatry clinic. Years of this finally came to this point. In September of 2008, i started therapy for the first time. I go to a therapist at the university i attend and am starting to really dislike it. I can't open up. It helped in times of crisis, but now i feel as though i'm not getting much out of it. It's better than nothing though.

Treatments

Abilify Working / Worked

Only took it for a month. Didn't feel any of it's therapeutic effects and got the shakes.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Considering

Holistic Health Somewhat Helpful

Fish Oils- Omega III It's healthy and boosts your energy levels. You can get the burps though. It's like you're burping up sea water full of fishies all day. I also tend to be conscious of eating well.

Lamictal Considering

I was prescribed this in Feb. 2009, but didn't have the money for it. No insurance.

Seroquel Somewhat Helpful

Seroquel is one hell of a drug, and i mean that in a bad way; it is bad for for the liver! Real bad. It was the first thing i was ever put on after a few incidents resulted in my bro getting me into a psych clinic. But i guess, it helped me sleep and i was desperate for sleep, so that was good. On the other hand, It made me into a zombie and i gained weight. Boo on that shit. I wouldn't recommend it too anyone, unless it's a last resort thing.

Open Anxiety

I have mad anxiety man.

Treatments

Acceptance Not Working

Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful

Klonopin Working / Worked

Using it now for sleep and "panic". It helps, but i'm not a big fan of using benzo's because i used to snort Xanax and other benzos/tranqualizers and occasional pain killers/opiates, so i am fighting my urges to use a lot of benzos and opiates again.

Meditation Working / Worked

Is wonderful, but i can only do it when i'm not at level 8-10 of anxiety. And it's really hard to get into, but once you're in it definitely helps.

Music Somewhat Helpful

Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful

Xanax Working / Worked

I love and hate this drug. I was never prescribed this drug, but I really use to abuse it. Bad. Anyway, it works great for the short term. Loses its effectiveness if I use it too frequently. It's highly addictive and, after popping away (even snorting), i would find myself in places i did not remember. Nuf said.

Zoloft Considering

I was prescribed this drug, but never took it.

Open Insomnia

Open Bell's Palsy

I got this for the first time three years ago. It comes so sudden and unexpected. It happened again this July, and now I'm going on three months recovering from this. At least i can smile now. And i'm hopeful that my face will come back to me.

Treatments

Acupuncture Too Soon to Tell

Could only afford 4 sessions.

Gabapentin Working / Worked

It's taken away the neural pain.

Prednisone Somewhat Helpful

Zovirax Somewhat Helpful

Open Tinnitus

Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

I've struggled with depression from a very young age, but it wasn't until last year, after a series of bad incidents, that i finally talked about and addressed it.

Treatments

Meditation Somewhat Helpful

Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful

To be more specific: I've found it only works if i don't force it. I will redirect thoughts and can find things to be positive about, but I've also had people, particularly family, tell me to essentially instantly be happy, which is the last thing a depressed person wants to hear. I also grew up in a religion that made me feel guilty for not being able to think in the "perfection that God thinks". It's helps so much more when people acknowledge that I'm entitled to my emotions.

Open Loneliness

Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

Since i started therapy a year ago, the therapist helped me acknowledge my denial. I never REALLY thought i'd been "abused" (part of me still doesn't accept or think so). It wasn't so bad at times, but looking back, other times, it was terrible. My mom came from an abusive/violent family--her parents nearly killed each other on a regular basis. So later in life, she passed that repressed anger onto me in so many ways. But glad to say, we're on a good path now.

Treatments

Art Working / Worked

Forgiveness Somewhat Helpful

I love her so much, though i think the subconscious resentment is lingering still. It's weird how much anger (to an unexplainable point) and resentment i had towards her back then in comparison to now. It's night and day. Like the saying goes, "i don't want to turned out like my mother" and hope i don't. She turned out like hers and i see so much of the same temperament in myself, so i'm trying to nip this soon. But there were a lot of good times, many. And things are looking up between us.

Leave Working / Worked

The last two bad incidents were a last straw for me. I could have ended up in ICU had my dad not been there to get her off of me, so I cut her off completely for months then. It was odd because i still had to live in the same household. Leaving is the best thing in abusive relationships, but when it's a parent, it's a bit different. I've learned that essential lesson of leaving now.

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

Open Hearing Loss & Deafness

I first noticed the tinnitus roughly four years ago. Two and a half years ago, the docs told me they think it might be otosclerosis caused by the Osteogenesis Imperfecta that i have, so it's probably the stapes otosclerosis (bone not conduction related), which means hope. But this is by far one of the toughest things i've ever had to deal with, and i have a long list here, so that's understating it. It's still not serious, no no no. I'm putting on my healing powers from the mother Sun.