Im trying
November 22, 2009 5:09pm
Im doing my best to not wallow in self pity. To not feel sorry for myself. To not feel sorry about feeling sorry for myself lol. But it's …
silentjoe 
2:34pm Yesterday
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About Me
silentjoe
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About Me
I currently suffer from major depression. I also have social phobia which has improved greatly over the last year. I use to hurt myself and I still struggle with the urges. My current therapist thinks I had borderline personality disorder in the past. But not so much now, like he thinks it might be in remission. He says he wouldn't diagnose me with it now so basically im just confused. I really only have my dad. My mom passed away 3 years ago. I struggle to find a philosophy to believe in. I mostly enjoy video games, listening to music, watching tv, movies, and anime. I also like to write poems.
I currently suffer from major depression. I also have social phobia which has improved greatly over the last year. I use to hurt myself and I still struggle with the urges. My current therapist thinks I had borderline personality disorder in the past. But not so much now, like he thinks it might be in remission. He says he wouldn't diagnose me with it now so basically im just confused. I really only have my dad. My mom passed away 3 years ago. I struggle to find a philosophy to believe in. I mostly
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Recent Activity
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6 hugs received, 4 discussion posts, 3 hugs given, 3 journal posts, 1 goal
Today
Yesterday
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silentjoe changed their mood to OK 8:52pm
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silentjoe wrote a journal entry: Im trying 5:09pm
Im doing my best to not wallow in self pity. To not feel sorry for myself. To not feel sorry about feeling…
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silentjoe and Krystle1209 are now friends 4:48pm
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silentjoe updated their status 2:34pm
Looking for a reason.…
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Journal
This entry is private
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It's a start
November 20, 2009 5:27pm
Well today I got up the nerve to call and set up drum lessons. People have told me I have a talent there. So we shall see. I want to try piano …
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What to do?
November 18, 2009 8:00pm
Ive seriously considered going back to the hospital. If nothing else maybe I could get my med situation fixed and finally find something that …
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Lonely
November 15, 2009 5:42pm
I just don't get it. I try meet people online but it never works out. I sign onto facebook or myspace and I see these other people …
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Hugbook
Thanks
thank you for your message, it picked my spirits up tremendously.
Hug
Thanks. You too. When do you start your drum lessons? That sounds like fun.
Hug
Have an awesome weekend!!
Hug
hey im on chat here to listen or talk.. or whatev...im listening to a couple songs..idk if u like songs..but i could link them to u if u would like...anyways im here..hope u message me somehow..song #1 stand in the rain superchicks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKo...
Hug
Hope you have a great week!
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have major depression. I usually enjoy sleep so I don't have to be awake. I guess Im looking for support.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Not Working
- Not really working for me.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I currently see 2 different people. I first started seeing a student trying to become a therapist. Then a actual therapist who Im still seeing. As well as a grief counselor.
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- I have a journal as well as a another book for poetry. I find that the journal becomes a litle too dark.
Close Loneliness
I tend to be pretty lonely. I don't really have any friends other then a few online. I don't have a relationship. Most of my family doesn't talk to me or I don't talk to them.
Open Self-Injury
I had suffered from self injury. I cut for a very brief time. I mostly use to hit myself. I still struggle with urges.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- I haven't hurt myself since I started going. I don't know if that's a coincidence or not.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I don't really talk about it to my therapist. The most he does is ask if im going to be safe.
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- I try to avoid this method because I think its still self harm in a really small way. The last time I tried it I don't think it did a whole lot for me.
- Squeezing Ice Somewhat Helpful
- It gets my mind distracted. I don't really do this at all anymore.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Ive told friends about doing this. I also talk to my dad sometimes when I have urges. It helps to get out of my head for a few minutes.
Open Shyness
I find it difficult to interact with people. I dont leave the house much. I guess I want to improve my social skills.
Treatments
- DailyStrength Too Soon to Tell
- It's very difficult to post on here because im nervous someone make fun of me or something.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I have told a lot of secrets to my therapist so I think that has helped.
- Socializing Somewhat Helpful
- Ive been on a couple dates in the last year and it helped a little bit.
Open Bereavement
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I do it more now then I ever did. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- I use to be real angry at the simplest things. I don't think it helped.
- Grief Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- I haven't gone much yet. It gets annoying when they start talking about god and how she is alright. They don't know that!
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- I lose myself in escapism so I don't have to think about it.
- Music Working / Worked
- Music helps me get through the day. Keeps boredom away.
- Poetry Somewhat Helpful
- I write poems. They are usually dark.
- Prayer Not Working
- I tried a couple times.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I talk about her more. Ive cried in front of my therapist about her.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Ive talked to my dad about it. Asking how you go on when it feels like part of you is gone.
Open Bullying
I was bullied growing up. I was made fun of by classmates,relatives,and strangers. In high school it got physical sometimes. Im just trying to get rid of some of the shame.
