Codee's Journal

OK so I went over to my BF's place last night and drank with him and his buddies. Had a great time. Proceded to pass out on the couch, he carried me to bed. This is just what he told me, I don't remember it. He was undressing me (I like to sleep nakked) and I freaked out. Tried to fight him, he said that if he hadn't dodged it I would'a scratched the hell outta his face. He said I hit him a bit, then lunged at him, him pushing me so I landed beside him on the bed. He said then I just started shaking in a ball and pulling the covers over me.

All I remember is waking up to him saying "M, it's R, it's OK, it's R, I'm right here..." and wondering why he was saying that, of course it's him. Then he told me what I did. I'm glad I didn't hurt him! I'm also glad I fight in the flashbacks now, I used to just curl up and sob (from what I've heard). 

I said I'm so sorry etc., he said no problem, understandable. I've been raped a few times, and my biological mother used to drag me out of bed by my PJ neck for various punishments, therefore I'm a little sensitive in my sleep. He was totally fine with it. 

When he was getting ready for work this morning and I was sitting outside having my morning smoke, he gave me a key. 

After seeing that, I can't believe he gave me a key to his house. People amaze me, there are some good ones out there!