smcsunshine

About Me

i was raped. Aug 25th 2008. i was only 14. i gave my mind, heart, body and soul to a 19 year old who i thought loved me. he manipulated me into helping him... i ended up "missing" for about 30 hours and raped by 3 of this friends (his age or older) The things that they did to me, can not be described! it haunts me every single day of my life. i just need help, i really really do. He reminded me soooo much of my 30 yr old brother (drug addict, now in state prison). i just wanted to help him. i wanted him to love me. its hard for me to deal, it really is. ive been told by doctors that i have anxiety attaches and severe depression. i was on prozac for about 10 or 11 months.... now im off. i feel as if ive hit hard. really really hard. i have sex with guys in my nieghborhood, it makes everything okay... in my head i just tell myself that they love me, and they're not hurting me. its my choice to do it with them, and its sick i know. but it make me feel like i have control. My parents, my friends, my family see me as someone im not. they see me happy, clam and outgoing. but im not. i feel like im a flthy whore.... no one will ever love the real me...

i was raped. Aug 25th 2008. i was only 14. i gave my mind, heart, body and soul to a 19 year old who i thought loved me. he manipulated me into helping him... i ended up "missing" for about 30 hours and raped by 3 of this friends (his age or older) The things that they did to me, can not be described! it haunts me every single day of my life. i just need help, i really really do. He reminded me soooo much of my 30 yr old brother (drug addict, now in state prison). i just wanted to help him. i wanted

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