I dont know why???
November 4, 2009 3:44am
i am so frustrated on why he was brought into my life and then taken away from me. I know god has a reason but again i ask ..... why?
crzy4js
10:45am, November 8, 2009
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About Me
crzy4js
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About Me
Where can i begin, i need a place to be me and let all out, don't like to bother others and feel the same for doing this. I am a christian widow and have three kids. They are my life but, a very challenging job. I am looking for happiness and wonder if I will ever find it again. I just came across this site surfing the web, hope it works. ---- I have been thru so much loss and can not let go ... lost my dad at age 5 .... then lost my husband after 2 1/2 years of marriage, after battling heart issues for 3yrs almost to date .... my 16 yr old daughter hates me due to the custodial interference of my mom and step dad so she lives with them and dont talk to me ...... then my 11 yr old son is a kleptomaniac, adhd, anger management, compulsive liar and pyro .. already been thru court with the law .... then i have my 4 yr old missing his daddy, repeat of my hurt??? when his age
Where can i begin, i need a place to be me and let all out, don't like to bother others and feel the same for doing this. I am a christian widow and have three kids. They are my life but, a very challenging job. I am looking for happiness and wonder if I will ever find it again. I just came across this site surfing the web, hope it works. ---- I have been thru so much loss and can not let go ... lost my dad at age 5 .... then lost my husband after 2 1/2 years of marriage, after battling heart issues
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Interests
my kids, my church, and my friends
my kids, my church, and my friends
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Journal
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Hugbook
Prayer
Just read you profile and journal - poor lady, you are really having a tough time. Well all i can say is I feell for you - this grief thing is too much on your own. That's why we're all here - because nobody but those "in the club that nobody wants to join" (as my good friend TJ here calls it), knows how we feel. So let it all hang out here sweety, 'cause we care for you. And hand all your burdens to the Lord 'cause only He can carry them! John
Thumbs Up
Hope you have a good Monday and it continues the rest of the week. Take care.
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Hug
Hey...thinking of you and hope you are doing well. It's the weekend so put a smile on your face. Time and God will repair our broken hearts. Take care.
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Prayer
Thinking of you and hope you have a great weekend, take care
Hug
I'm sorry for your loss but I do believe you have found the place you need to be right now......here on this website. You will definitely get the support you need to get through this.........hugs to you........
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Widows & Widowers
I finally found the love of my life at 32 only to have him taken from me 2 1/2 years later, whats sad is i had known him since i was 5, he was my best friend thru so much & didnt even know how i felt until the day i got a call he was in hospital and might die. He was not the father of my three kids but you know he did an awesome job when my 16 yr old calls him dad right away, i have no family support, i saw one brother sat & he did not even know my husband passed 7 months ago, pathetic huh
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseI cant get over my losses. I lost my dad at age of 5. Then I just lost my husband going on 8 months ago, after 2 1/2 yrs of marrieage. Now we are facing the news my grandma who was one of my best friends growing up dose not have long.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- i shut off the crying when i start. I tell myself it dont help to bring them back. I think i have been thru so much thet my heart feels like a stone
- Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
- sorta helps then i again shut myself down and harbor it all inside.
- Keeping Busy Working / Worked
- i try not to think about it especially my husband.
- Reading Not Working
- my mind wonders and dont focust on the books or the plot. same with a movie.
- Remembering Not Working
- i dont want to remember it hurts to, although i do it for our boys. we have his urn in the living room.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- have no family support here, and i can not ever beleive or trust anyone in my family ..... to much backstabbing. Even my own mother denied me the privledge of burring my husband in our empty plot next to my dad, and then she has never once told me sorry for my loss and my older brother didnt even know. so no on the family. some on friends
- Support Groups Considering
- i know the funeral home told me of a group i want to check out, but i have in my head from being raised that noone wants me around or hear me. So very hard to talk to others.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- it gets me crying, and i dont like to bother others with my pain
Open Families of Prisoners
my husband was in prison and now hes dead due to their medical malpractice and stupid health system
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
