mdrauch2066's Journal

in my tbi i know many people wont believe me but im gonna say i was not affected cognitively as much as others. i have my setbacks. my memory is a little worse but im always trying really hard and trying to remember things i think are important, and more often then not, i do remember. i do have the paranoia. i feel that the radio plays most of its songs for a reason, and i hear certain lines in songs for reasons. it used to drive me nuts but ive accepted it and now i kinda enjoy it. i am still a very smart person. i never had great grades before my accident but i was always good at math. i could figure freaking anything out using logic, any subject. my mind was awesome. i believe it still is. my family doesnt believe it could be given the tbi i endured. it doesnt matter what they think i know its good still and thats all that matters. my main deficits from the tbi in my mind are balance and control over my left arm and leg. i have the wii fit and ive been playing balance games for well over an hour a day and i feel my balance isnt great yet but getting better. i also recently found out that if i lay down and tighten my abs while moving my arms and legs in different ways i can connect the nerves better to my limbs. since this i can now straighten my left arm all the way, which i could never do since my tbi. i can also do it pretty fast and my entire left side was pretty slow. my left leg used to always be turned outward and when it swung backward my left foot would hit my right foot. this would almost cause me to fall especially since my balance isnt great, but i always knew it so i was always making sure i wouldnt fall so it never caused me to actually fall. ive only fallen several times and i always see it coming so i brace and used my arms to catch me and make sure i dont hit anything too hard so i never did fall and get hurt. the point is that now i lay on the ground, tighten my abs and try to turn my leg inward 22 times. 22 was my number when i played basketball in high school so its the number i use for everything. since ive been doin this i can now walk with my feet not colliding on every pass. its still not perfect but i work on it everyday. i believe that i will be able to run again. maybe ill even be as fast as i used to be. when we used to run at practice for bball in highschool i always came in first. i always believed that getting tired was in ur mind. not just in ur mind, im not that rediculous. but i believe that if u want to beat the people ur running against just run as fast as u can the whole time. i mean the whole entire time. i used to be nuts with this stuff, haha. i freaking ate so much food all the time. im about 6 feet tall and i was always under 150 pounds. i believe that i will be able to run again and im hoping that one day in the future i will be able to dunk a basketball in a 10 foot hoop again. its will power people and i want this more than ive ever wanted anything. i cant even jump and get off the ground right now, but ill do it. it might freaking take me years but ill get it. ill actually bet by the end of 2010 ill be able to run and jump. i know some people that read this are gonna say well dont be disappointed if u find out you cant run and different crap like that. youll wanna tell me i did have a closed head injury where my brain bounced around so much i had so many hemmorrhages so i shouldnt be able to getback to normal, mentally and physically. but these words will be lost on me. I am Mike Drauch, the one and only, there is no one like me. no one else has been through some of the things ive been through. no one else has seen what ive seen, and no one else has had such absolutely rediculous things happen to them. ive been told by everyone since i was little that which doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. well i gotta tell you i almost died many times. ive been hurt by so many things, so many different people. so if that is true then im a pretty damn strong person. remember the name Mike Drauch. you well hear of me doing great things in the future. until then...