TJD61's Journal

My sister seems to have made it through the surgery but I am a bit worried that she still had a fever yesterday and hasn't had a bowel movement which I thought was something that had to be done before you are allowed to leave the hospital.  They let my brother go right after his bad hernia with the same issues and he ended up in an ambulance the next day and back in the hospital for 5 days.  Doctors and hospitals worry me.  I am sure a lot of you out here can relate to that. Nowadays there is a pill for everything.  How many pills do you think all of us out here actually don't need or interact poorly with other medication?  My brother goes in on Thursday and this is the first time I have actually seen him scared.  He thinks surgeries are nothing most of the time and never worries about anything.  I guess I am no better.  The horrible thing about being a multiple is that everyone does not take to the pain or is relieved by certain medication.  Some are allergic and some don't even get high off of painpills.  It is hard to deal with. I am just starting to learn about what it is I have.  My brother is very organized with his people.  His therapist said to him yesterday that he is the most together multiple she has ever met.  She also figured out it is because he doesn't talk about the past.  I hope he will open up.  I hope I will be able to because my memories are so sketchy.  I have 4 brothers that walked out of the same situation and we all came out of it differently.  That proves that everything in life is not learned behavior from your childhood.  A lot of it is but the way people work through it or try to escape from it is different.  Alcohol and drug addictions are usually the top of the list.  Two of my brothers went that direction.  The other one is a doormat, bleeding heart and doesn't know how to get mad.  He wanted to come out here but I told him that most of the people that will flock to him will be people who want the one sided friendship where they continue to talk about themselves and there is no equal exchange.  I think there are a lot of people out here that really need to realize that.  We are all here to work through stuff.  Yes it is right to share but sharing means both people talk and listen.  This is not where you join these groups and it is all about you.  Too  much of that out here.  All of the good people make up for the bad people.  There are a lot of people out here that have codependency issues.  Those are the people that are the ones who find themselves listening to someone and still not getting over their codependent problems.  I have always found it easier to listen and help someone else.  That is probably the only thing that me and all of my brothers have in common.  I think people should be aware of others who do have that as an issue and please stop flocking to them knowing they are going to try and fix you.  They aren't here for that.  I also give kudos to my brother for his journal and I guess a lot of people did out here.  They thought it and wished they had said it.  One thing I keep hearing lately are people stalking people and spreading rumors about others.  There is someone out here who writes everyone to bad mouth someone.  This crap has to stop.  Last I checked, all of you are grown ups.   I graduated from high school in 1979 and really don't want to go there again.  Why is this turning into high school?  This has to stop.  If there are other people out there who are having an issue with it, I encourage you to write it in your journal as well.  If there are ways to have these people removed from DS, it has to be done.  There are so many people who are getting hurt out here.  All of us have had enough pain in our lives already.  Be it abuse or illness.  You know who you are if you are reading this.  Please stop this.  Some very nice people are becoming frightened and very hurt by what you people are saying.  I will not say who you are but there are a total of 6 people out here doing this.  Let's make this a place where we feel safe.  That is the reason we are here.  As for the one sided friendship type of people, you are probably not aware of even doing that.  Just think about what it is you are saying.  This is not a place that is all about you.  Most of these things I am mentioning aren't even something that has happened to me.  I have talked to friends out here who are very hurt.  Please stop this

Timmy