i just moved to south texas. i …
i just moved to south texas. i had high hopes of starting a new life here. since my arrival here, i havent met anyone …
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russ54 
6:58am, September 8, 2009
Ya ever get the feelin ya runn up hill all the time...
no matter how hard you try there is no pleasin kin folks...
bust ya buns all ya life tryin to be a good dad.. mom... wife or hubby..
just to get kicked to the curb... because ya become disable...
Old... unable to please...
.......
Maybe it's just Me... but all my life I've been tryin to please...
to gain the approval of those so special to me..
My Kids... my inlaws..my ex... ya know...
Seems now like it was when I was A Kid...
.....
Nothing is good enuff ,...?
Aint good enuff for the women on POF...
Wasn't good enuff fur me ex wifey...
Aint good enuff for my Son and his wifey...
.....
I'm only allowed to go visit when they say it's okay..
her folks can dropp in anytime...
but I have to call for an appointment... WHY...?
then he call up and say Hey Dad you want to hang out...
.....
I'm tired achey and don't feel like drivin over... so..
hey why don't you come over...
Nope....
So I have a senior moment blow a fuse...
tell him to kiss off...
My youngest son he takes my three wheeler and
goes to play X-box with Junior...
......
Actually the whole come over thing was...
Russ Jr.. wanted to borrow my youngest sons X-box
didn't have any real need for Dad... just kinda...looked good tho..
So when my youngest pedals his X-box over...
they get to talkin about Dad....
....
Russ jr.. he says ...
World don't evolve around old men on SSI.....
Cool huh...what am I suppose to think about this..
only time I ever see him and grandson is when
wifey gets ticked and he gotta leave the house.. kid in tow..
....
Where he go...Yepp makes tracks to Dad's..
When someting gets broke and needs fixin...
Where they go.... Yepp makes tracks to Dad's
Why...
Just when you think ya ate the last shovel full of Chit...
Life hand you another one chocked plum full...
When is Enuff....Enough....
Should a parent demand Respect...?
Is it wrong to want to be respected.....?
....
Why do I feel as worthless as I was told I was gonna be as a kid..
How do you fight against an abusive past that keeps ...
diggin at your soul....as relentless as Chronic Pain...
If that doctor that told me at 30... my body was twice as old as my age...
reckon I'm doin pretty good for 112....
....
Guess I shouldn't whine so much....
just wish my kids show me a little respect...
but even my own dad said... outta all his kids...
I was different... he wished he said...
"I wish all my kids grew up to be like you..."
Wow... Dad... that's kinda heavy..
They loved Dad... but they was busy...
.......
They didn't show Dad the kind of love and respect I did..
Cause I grew up without my dad...
i got to spend 6 wonderful years with him..
6 years to try to replace a life time of seperation...
The bible says to Honor your Mother and Father....
......
So as I'm wondering Don't they teach that in Church anymore..
My son and his wifey go every sunday.. wensday nite...
he preaches at me about my salvations...
but if I don't go to the church they go too...
What... I'm not good enuff...
....
Well I've had enough...
I got to figure out how to live my life in this World of selfishness..
where folks are Lovers of money ...
rather than lovers of righteousness...
...
The only thing I Owe anyone....
Is Love..
.....
Peace
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Hey, I know just what you are saying and how true. My Dad has been up from Fl. all summer. My Brother-mikes family has been taking care of him all summer with me. However this will be the 3rd week by myself this week. They come down now on the weekends since their kids are in school now. My other jacass brother says he can't stand the other brother so he won't come down to visit his 85 year old father. Yet for the past 2.5 weeks he has had every chance to visit without his brother their. Why can't families get together as we did when we were youngsters. Keep the faith and one day maybe others will show us peace and love in their own ways. PEACE!!!!
highmarg
Russ I can relate to your feelings so well.My oldest daughter is like your son Jr.She only comes around when she need's a hand out.I agree with you about the respect and thoughtfulness for us as parents.We need to know that we fit into their world some where beside being a handy person to have around when needed.I have come to the conclusion that it's my daughter's choice and that I cannot fit myself into a space that isn't there for me.So I live my life and she lives hers.I pray for her and will always love her as I know you love Russ jr.Just know that it isn't important if we are loved by anyone.As long as we love ourselves and pray for our children's souls.Just know that you have a place in this world and you have a home.One day your son will know how it feels I'am sad to say.One day he will need to be wanted an loved and it wont be there.The same as with my daughter.
Dont feel bad you haven't done anything wrong.Our children are selfish.Thank God that we arn't. Your faithful friend.
Rachel
italiangrit
I know how you feel Russ, like you have been deserted.
deleigh
I won't do a long comment like I do but you sure do deserve the up most respect its not like you are asking for much. Breaks my heart to read stuff like this about anyone having to be treated like this let alone such a great guy/friend as yourself! (((((((huggssss)))))))) I hope and pray it changes for you someday and they wake up and realize.....I am so sorry my friend....wish I could do more...take care of yourself!!!
sunshine521