i just moved to south texas. i …
i just moved to south texas. i had high hopes of starting a new life here. since my arrival here, i havent met anyone …
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russ54 
6:58am, September 8, 2009
Today I've decide to sit down and have a group decussion with myself...
me and I seem a little reluctant... I am always lookin at Myself, tryin to figure out just what is wrong with me...
I can hear worth a dam, and me and myself aint all to happy about that too..
sometimes I hurt all over, and that aint so good for me, Its tthe pitts for me. Some times I am beside myself with pain and confuaion.
Then there's this dang loneeeeeeeeeelinesssssssss....
Me I like to cuddle and hug and kiss, and I realy miss being with (old what's her face), don't really miss her so much myself, it's just the empty space she left in my heart that is tearin me up..
Why can't I get a hold myself like I use too, and just push that loneliness aside...
Maybe I was busy raisin a son, and was too busy for me to dwell on the lose of affections from a missin spouse... I think those emotions were always lingerin in the back just waitin for a chance to get back into the front seat with myself...
Oh the front seat....hehehe yeppers me and the ex had some real wonderful memories in the front seat of those old classic cars I bought and restored...
More like raise-a wrecked.... myself I miss those old cars.. cheep gass , drive-in movies, and sunday drives...
Then there was always the favorite sparkin spots... Yeah you know... before the kids, or the reason ya got kids lol.....
SPARKIN - SPOTS... should of had a warnin rite.... beware sparkin can lead to kids, cleanin house, washin dishes, more kids... bills, arguements and make ups.... more kids....
I don't wanna give up those wonderful memories....
Thats about the only thing I have left is the memories...they are good for me....myself wouldn't have it any other way...
Me and I am tired.... Myself is tired too....
I guess the three of us just gonna have to make do with what we have our friends here on DS,
Me, I aint holdin out too much hope for findin a soulmate to fill the empty space in my life...even if I do, will she be willing to except me for who I am myself.... that is the question....
Yeah I think I am worth it.... Me too.... well that's enuff about Myself.... hope all my friends have a great day... Russ
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Sometimes Russ, even when you are still with your other half yet, you can be lonely. I come from a very affectionate family and my kids are like that too, but my husband came from a family that never told each other that they loved each other, or hugged or were affectionate in any way, so he is like that, not quite as bad because we have been married 35+ years and some of me has rubbed off on him. But still not enough for my liking. I am the cuddler and when the kids were home and when they come home I still get to cudle with them but it's not the same as the one you share all of the old memories with. Man, that was a ramblin' sentence. But I think you get the gist of it. I usually play games on the computer when I am in that frame of mind because it helps me to take the lonliness away for awhile.
Take care and here's a hug and a cuddle for you!!!
~~Faye~~
alwaysfoggy
Russ what ever my two cents is worth.Having your feelings are natural.Man was not created to be alone so we feel the emptyness when we are alone.
I have many many times since my husbands death felt very alone.Iam known to take my memory trips sometimes.Have my cries alone and shake myself back into reality.As far as you accepting that no one wants you.I wouldnt ever give up hope,we have to keep our dreams alive some how, some way.Because all things are possiable with god.Thats a tall order but very true all things nothing is impossiable with god.
So that means if you trust him he will provide that made to order lady for you someday in his timing.
Now my friend you find too many things wrong with yourself.Iam not fussing at you are only getting one side in how you view yourself.
Look at yourself and add up all the good things about you? They are there but if you keep putting yourself down you will never let them shine through.
Start counting them and you will discover a very nice man inside yourself.Add up your talents as well because that is our unique gifts.
Combining all that I would be proud of who you are and walk and talk it.You have got to convience yourself my dear buddy that you still have some things to offer in this world to someone.
Its not always money,its the things that money cant buy in a man that really counts.
God bless you today.
rachel
italiangrit
I never felt like I was cuttin myself down, just thought I was facin reality lol... russ
russ54
No its not alwys reality.You are a very good man with many wonderful qualitys russ.You are interesting and intertaining and iam sure you know how to be very charming.The one wrong thing we all do is look at the surface and not the soul.
My mama used to say if a man liked old dogs and children he was a good man.LOL thats true..
Honestly women dont always look at the package wrapping but whats the contents are.
Speak good things about yourself its becomeing except if a man brags thats not good ;D.
My late hubby was hard hearing he was left that way after rockets going off deafened one ear in the service.
It didnt stop him from being a sweety he was mr personality lol.
He didnt have great looks but a super personality and a sharp wit which attracted me.So there thats what iam talking about.
One of these days you gonna use that personality on the right woman,and you wont be able to get rid of her.
Never give up my friend.
Hugs Rachel
italiangrit
hey I hear ya...(well I can read lol)...I'll find some way to poke fun at myself that aint so demeanin lol...
I like ya mama... and dogs and children too lol... oh and I got a nible on my fishin line on plenty of fish lol.. just hope she takes the bait lol... she kinds scared too ...
so any how thanks for the kind words and I know ya right... always RUss
russ54
Best wishes on your new catch.Go get em tigar..
italiangrit