allweneedislove's Journal

Time to face the music at the cardiologist tomorrow. The pain is insane. But the other possible culprit started a half hour ago so if it slows down within the next two weeks then I basically have my answer. I just hope they don't blame it on anxiety like my speech teacher (who also has panic disorder) told me they probably would. I know that as well, it's happened to me before. Stupid doctors. Stupid disorder. I don't know which is more annoying.

Scott wanted to come up with me, but he had alot of homework. I can't help but think that it wasn't the only reason why not, but I also don't know why I feel like that because I see how he is around me. There's no way he has any other reasons. Ugh, stupid trust issues.

I'm in a mood tonight, can you tell?

I had such a good night and morning with him. I love him so much. More than I thought possible. I really wish I could just be happy with him and stop freaking out. It's just ... I'm so used to knowing everything about who I'm with. I'm not used to this whole new relationship thing. It's ... weird.

Time to go get some food. And go to sleep. It's an early appointment tomorrow.