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5boys 
1:54am, October 26, 2009
Okay so it is the first week of diagnosis. We have tried meditation which has seemed to work in moments of frustration. We both just close our eyes and think of a peaceful place for 3-5 minutes. It is not a long lasting effect. The days we remember to pray first seem to go a lot smoother. This kids faith in prayer is evident in the way he insists his day must be going better because we prayed about it! Sometimes we stop to pray in a "moment", but again it's not extremely long lasting.We tried some Melatonin to see if it would help him sleep better. The first day he took 3 pills and woke up with a headache. It progressed through the day. We had him take 4 pills at 7pm and he layed down right at dinner time claiming that his head hurt too bad to eat. He fell asleep and I was worried we gave him too much or something. The next day he woke up with a fever and a head cold. Now I am not sure if his headache was related to the Melatonin or the head cold. I will try the pills again next week. Right now it is 1:30am and he is still awake on the couch. I ordered some herbal treatment today that we should be able to start trying in a week or so. I am very anxious about seeing if it has any affect. I am praying it does, because the more I learn about prescription drugs for this the more I want to stay away from them. So far I have learned that Aderol is highly addictive and is being sold as a street drug like speed at colleges, etc. I have learned that most of the drugs for ADD are uppers and can cause high anxiety and low appetites. He can't have a low appetite when he's on growth hormone to stay on the charts. HE can't have higher anxiety when his body doesn't produce enough cortizone to maintain his stress levels. I am scared. I am feeling the weight of the world and I am feeling his eyes on me saying, " mom please help me.. help me control this..help me be succesful.. and don't let other people judge me unfairly.. help me gain confidence and self esteem... help me feel smart and funny and loved.. you are the ONLY one who can help me... don't let me down.. I am counting on you" *deep breath* Oh Heavenly Father please help me not let him down
