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adjustingmom 
I had no idea of the dispare and the emotion of Evan's birthday would take. The week leading up to his day 11/6 and the days after left me in a scary state of total loss. I am not looking forward to the holidays if this is any indication of what emotions can do. I did get to see Evan's friends and talk to them. I kept cool, but the next day every kid I saw looked just like Evan. Every advertisement screamed to me that I can't buy him a gift or something special. The hole in my heart is so big I wonder why I am even bothering to breathe. This is scarry.
Comments
Just wanting you to know that I'm thinking of you! No answers just lots of understanding, empathy and love. I know you are missing Evan with all of your heart and soul. Hoping you feel his arms wrapped around you today and letting you know that you are never alone. Big soothing hugs to you my friend. XO Joanie
Livingjuicy
I'm so sorry for the difficult time. I know everyone is different but the birthdays always seem the hardest for me. All of the "firsts" are hard. We don't know what to expect, we anticipate the absolute worse and we have never experienced those events without our children. It's is a huge challenge. Just keep breathing and you will get through these next few weeks. We are here to help. Much love. Robin
Robin4
Six weeks until Christmas...another week till New Years...then the holidays will be over...some of the worst "firsts" will be over. You have endured so far...you CAN do this. You are much stronger than you could ever imagine. Don't look days or weeks ahead...just day to day. Firsts are tough, but so are you...love and hugs...Karen
biowoman
Just take it hour by hour day by day.. it does get easier to breath.. love to you..
munrogirl
I am so sorry for your pain. I understand every word you are saying,,,unfortunately. I remember going through the same thing where everywhere I looked I would see Richard,. I remember speeding up in my car to get a better look at the guy inside of a car cause I thought it was Rich. I remember following a young man around in the grocery store cause he smelled like Richard...glad the young man didn't accuse me of stalking.
It does get better in time and I know it may not feel like that right now. Hugs, Inga
ihart
I understand. Everyday I pray to God or who ever..to allow me to stop breathing. But it doesn't happen.
"They" say it will never get better but it will get easier. I don't even bother with holidays anymore.
AstridW