DarknDreamy's Journal

I have felt more down today than I have since I stopped cutting about 4-5 weeks ago.  I have returned back to work and of course there has been some people that I didn't get along with before that are still trying to start shit, but other than that work is good.  I am now struggling with my relationship.  My fiancee' and I have not been able to see eye to eye lately and I feel like we are destin for failure.  I don't want to seperate, but I don't see any resolution.  I know a lot of this has to do with finacial stress, but we don't communicate well.  He doesn't talk to me unless he gets pissed off and I try to talk to him but then it gets turned around like I am just starting problems.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I really want this to work but I'm now at the point where I feel like cutting again all the emotional pain is back and it's getting worse.  I just want to bury myself and not come out of the hole I go in.  We are going on what's supposed to be a nice vacation starting this Saturday but I really have my doubts about how great it's really going to be.  I get to the point sometimes where I just want us to be away from each other so we don't fight and appreciate each other more.  I can't take this I am starting to feel that emptiness inside like I did when I was cutting, but before it was because of my "friends and coworkers" that stressed me out, and now it's a whole nother problem.  I wish there was a way out of this I wish I could comatose myself until this stress is over. I am tired and I just can't get him to understand.  I don't have anyone that understands.  He doesn't want to talk to me and that just makes things worse.  THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO AT LEAST THAT'S THE WAY IT FEELS RIGHT NOW.