Journal Entry for October 15, 2009
October 15, 2009 10:35pm
This post will probably sound very superficial but I just need to get some of this off my chest. I'm so SICK of everything right now. I'm …
MarlaS
10:05pm, October 15, 2009
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About Me
MarlaS
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About Me
This is my first time joining something like this. I'm still a little apprehensive about it because I have been suffering in silence for such a long time. I don't really have anyone close in my life to confide in so I tend to keep a lot of things bottled up. I am painfully shy and very observant in new social situations. I'm not a major fan of people but I love animals. I value honesty and sometimes I may accidently come across as rude. I value objectivity and logical reasoning. The mind vs body problem fascinates me. I love the brain and anything dealing with neurology or neurological psychology. I also love learning about evolution and human behavior. Science is great :) haha
This is my first time joining something like this. I'm still a little apprehensive about it because I have been suffering in silence for such a long time. I don't really have anyone close in my life to confide in so I tend to keep a lot of things bottled up. I am painfully shy and very observant in new social situations. I'm not a major fan of people but I love animals. I value honesty and sometimes I may accidently come across as rude. I value objectivity and logical reasoning. The mind vs body
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Interests
evolutionary psychology, the brain, making jewelry, travel, hookah, belly dance, tea, art, pugs, hairless cats
evolutionary psychology, the brain, making jewelry, travel, hookah, belly dance, tea, art, pugs, hairless
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I'm going to look back on this entry and think "wtf"??
October 8, 2009 8:56am
There are days when I wake up and feel like a complete stranger. I'll have different tastes, mood swing patterns, social patterns, and honestly …
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Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionDepression is worsening mentally and now physically. My body is physically starting to hurt so badly like I can feel in my body a desperation to feel happy again. I've let myself go at age 22. I have no joy in my life and don't even know who I am anymore.
Treatments
- Lexapro Not Working
- Was about 8 years ago that I was on this so I don't remember any particulars except that it didn't work and I gained a ton of weight.
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- Occasionally helps me sleep when my thoughts are too out of control.
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- My mouth and mind contradict themselves. I will try really hard repeat positive thoughts in my head but it feels like my mind knows better than to believe that trick.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I was barely able to open up to my therapist after 3 years. Never had anything to say to her.
- Seroquel Somewhat Helpful
- It only helped me sleep and unless I had my adderall in the morning to help wake me up I could sleep all day on that stuff.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- My family has told me I'm just oversensitive and my boyfriend thinks my depression is something that I can "shake off" and get over at a whim.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- Made symptoms worse
- Adderall Working / Worked
- Helps stabilize my mood for a while and Ill feel optimistic about things which is nice. It also helps me stay organized and on track with my goals. However I get very cranky when it starts to wear off and Ill get rather irritated with things. I dont want to be touched or asked any unnecessary questions. It is odd.
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