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MCkbc 
3:38am
.....Hello Friends.....
I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling alot better than I was this time last night. With the help of Benadryl every 4 hours for the past 24 hours....Still feeling kinda groggy though! But thank you so much to all of you that sent me hugs! Also, thanks for your support on my 3 week milestone! Just wish I could have spent it more alert...lol...But Thank You To All...
...Okay...
I promised you all that I would update after my "20 Days" journal entry. I will do my best to make a long story short.
My grandmother raised me. She & my grandfather took me in before I was even a year old. My Mom & Dad were young, dumb & full of......well I won't go there!! Anyway, my grandma was about 52-53 when she took me in. My grandfather died of a heart attack the day before turned 5 years old. From that day forward, it was just me & her. I have to say....she is one of the strongest women I've EVER met in my life!! She just had her 83rd birthday on Sept. 1, 2009. She has had high expectations of what I was "suppose" to be. But as we all know....No matter how much you push someone to do something....they will only go that path if they choose it themselves. Smoking has ALWAYS been one thing that she despised. She has never even tasted alcohol nor a cigarette. Needless to say...All 3 of her boys smoke & the daughter she adopted & raised turned out to smoke to! One thing I will say....Not one of us has ever lit a cig in her presence. Not because we were afraid.....Just because we knew better! LOL
So...I decided when I quit & had 1 & 1/2 packs left...I would just give them to one of the MANY smokers that I know. But, the more I thought about it...I have changed my mind. I dont want to be the cause of such health problems on a loved one someday. (ok..I know 35-40 cigs is not gonna kill them) But I would be adding fuel to their fire. So, I have decided what better person than my grandma. Lord knows she's not gonna smoke em'!!!! Plus, this will give her the satisfaction of knowing I have truly QUIT such an awful habit. And yes....there will also be satisfaction on my end. Anything that makes her proud of me....I will try my best to do. It may take me some time....But eventually....She is ALWAYS right in the end!
MAMA TRULY KNOWS BEST
I told her on my first week that I was trying to quit, but she really just kinda swept it under the rug (so I felt anyway). I really believe that she thought I would not come through this long. The first 2 or 3 times I spoke with her after I told her of my quit...she did not even mention it. Actually I brought it up right at the end of our conversation. And she just replied..."Really..you haven't at all"...
But the last time I spoke to her which was about 5 days ago now....She ask me..."Are You Still Quit Smoking" (that was her exact words) LOL....when I replied "yes grandma....Im still quit", I could really hear the pride in her voice as it almost started to crackle...
(keep in mind grandma has NEVER been one to really show true feelings)! She has always been famous for saying "Don't tell me, Show me" when we tell her we love her...
So I think its gonna snow when she tells me that she loves me or that shes even proud of me!!
When I told her that I still havent smoked....She just burst out that she was soooo proud of me (like 3x's)..that she knew I could do it....Then......I LOVE YOU!!!!
!!!!Whoa!!!!!
Did she just REALLY say ALL of that in one conversation.?.?.?.? I literally almost hit the floor!!!!
So no matter how BIG the cravings may be....Not one puff has ever given me the feeling that she gave me with those simple words!!
I hope you can undersatnd now, why I still have the cigs. I hope to be going to see her soon & when I do....That will be the emergency that I ask my hubby to go get the cigs for me. Just in case you didnt read the other part....I told my hubby to put my cigs away & only give me one in case of an emergency!
So there you have it.....
Im sure I will journal all about the day that I had my grandma some cigs.....
I can only imagine the look on her face!
*~*22 DAYS SMOKE FREE*~*
UPDATED GOALS
Beat this nicotine habit!
22 days smoke free
Encouragements: 4
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Comments
Misty that was a fantastic journal to read, your grandma sounds a beautifull person and i also had to snile at you to, i feel so proud of you at what you have achieved so far and that you are going to give the ciggies to your grandmother, i can't wait to hear how it goes, sending love carol xxx
caz16
With such an awesome grandma it is no wonder that you have such strength and a positive attitude you are so awesome yourself and 22 days is fabulous. I feel so proud of younger people that have the sense to quit, you are truly wonderful. heaps of hugs..ozzie
ozziequitter
oops forgot to add i hope you are feeling lots better stay snug and warm till you are all better....ozzie
ozziequitter
You are doing great and grandma sounds like a wonder person to have loving you. One more thing you might want to know about smoking, it can help cause brain aneurysms . I smoked for 43 years and have had 2, one ruptured, one did not. Headaches were never checked out for another problem. Reading stories on this site of annie survivors, we were or are all smokers. You have small children so please stay quit, do not smoke again. If I had been told years ago what smoking could do to my brain, I would have quit many years ago. I have been smoke free for almost 2 years now and I feel wonderful.
Grannycare
wow, that story made my day, I am sooooooooo proud of you and so is mom (grandma) take care and have a wonderful day honey, Big hugs to you
dianacandy
It will be two years smoke free in February. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. You need to phtocopy this journal entry and let your grandma read the entire thing. You have said the most beautiful things about her and about how you feel towards her. YOU MUST let her read this. It may be the most important gift you have given her and it SHOWS her how much you love her. Sue
suecalifornia
Well, it is about 23 days smoke-free. You can do this thing. And remember, you are doing this for YOURSELF. The approval and support from Grandma is just the cherry on the top.
I quit smoking 'cold turkey' March 23, 1993. It was about 6 A.M. (early riser) and was having a cup of coffee and lit up a cigarette. All of a sudden the smell of the smoke and the feel of the cigarette was so offensive to me that I put the cigarette out and have never picked up another one since. I was tempted once, but said to myself 'instead of smoking, how about giving up sugar in the coffee?' That's what I did. Now I don't smoke and have just one cup of java, unsweetened in the morning. I'm proud of me and I'm proud of you.
renalwife