Helcia319's Journal

Yesterday, I did ok.  I was somewhat sad and tired and discouraged.

I have begun to get to know my inner child.  I look inside myself and see her, all vulnerable, and my heart goes out to her.  This feels and sounds kind of weird, but, what if I become a split personality because I'm giving attention to another being inside me that is actually me?   I actually worry about that....  I'm not letting it stop me, though.  I am trying to parent her (me) by asking myself what I would do for Mia, and giving that same treatment to her (me).  For me, that approach really works well.  I see how I was going to treat myself, and I compare to how I would treat Mia in that same situation.  Good heavens, what an eye-opener!  It makes me feel guilty that I've been treating myself this way for so long, and never realized it was abuse until I compared.  It's no wonder I have issues....

I talked with Froggy Gram last night.  She was happy to hear from me, and we had a wonderful conversation!  I cannot even begin to say how happy that made me - that she was happy to hear from me.  I have been afraid to contact her because I was afraid she was mad at me!   I'm silly. :)

I did not get mad at all yesterday, and that was a really wonderful feeling!  When Scott came up giving me the raised eyebrow about the invoice I needed to do, I didn't react.  I instead looked at his point of view, and let myself continue doing what was good for me, and it worked so well!!!  I am proud of myself for not getting mad, reacting, or giving in to a "should" that was not good for me at the time.  Wonderful!