keeping's Journal

I guess I do know whats bothering me this week. My son is sick my ex still hasnt sent child support a co worker that I didn't like or feel comfortable around past away and I am trying to prepare myself to testify in a trial concerning my father who sexually abused me as a child and is now over ten years later being accused of the same thing. I don't have to g but I know they will have a better chance of putting him back in prison if I speak out. I don't know I guess its too much at one time not to mention the fact that I'm on my period! That doesn't help one bit. It's funny how as a women you know that part of the crazy feelings are just th hormones messing with you but you still have no way of controlling them or putting them aside. 

I know this is alot of info to take in at one time but that is how it feels in my head. I usually have my shit together. Most days are great with work and kids and church and all there is little time to dwell on stuff that bothers me. It has taken me half my life to learn how to live day to day without thinking about what my father did to me. Finally about two years ago a had a breaking point and really began to heal. I don't think one ever conpletely heals I think that it is a life long growing process but I got good at it. Then this summer I got a phone call and was told that a girl accused him of the same and I am having to remember things and read things and write a speech kinda thing to say to the jury. I have been losing sleep and just feel a little numb. I hate this feeling. I have to be strong for this girl I don't know and for my babies. I can't let this affect me to where they are affected. I need prayers.