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  • About Me

    Image of MidnightShadow

    MidnightShadow

    Female, 61, Married
    Lakewood, CA, USA
    Member since September 29

    • About Me

      Past sexual and emotional abuse victim, lots of psycho therapy, still broken, chose to be a Christian, agoraphobic, married, 61 years old and still emotionally broken, need to talk to similar people, very compassionate -- I have 17 people inside of me, the chaos is a living terror, so much emotional pain - no money for therapy

      Past sexual and emotional abuse victim, lots of psycho therapy, still broken, chose to be a Christian, agoraphobic, married, 61 years old and still emotionally broken, need to talk to similar people, very compassionate -- I have 17 people inside of me, the chaos is a living terror, so much emotional pain - no money for therapy

    • Interests

      Any animal, but especially cats, oil painting artist, gardening, collecting and watching DVDs, camping, love researching interesting people and events, going to church and learning Greek or Spanish.

      Any animal, but especially cats, oil painting artist, gardening, collecting and watching DVDs, camping,

  • Recent Activity

    November 9

    November 5

  • Journal

    • Hate being poor - Mom why?

      Mood October 13, 2009 7:59pm

      The lady who "gave" me the kittens the other day, came and took them away. I miss them - so I went to the humane society and adopted 2 - a …

    • Forgive my mother ???

      Mood October 12, 2009 1:50am

      ForgivenessA friend of mine on the net wrote a beautiful letter to his perpetrator. So moving and so touching. I realized it was time for me to …

    • Oh! - Oh! - I'm in Big Trouble

      Mood October 9, 2009 2:36am

      I met a girl in Walmart a few weeks ago at the cat food aisle.  We hit it off and she had 5 kittens that she rescued from the pound. So I told …

    • Home in Colorado

      Mood October 7, 2009 7:55pm

      I have a Realtor -  Marti Spitzer & Mindy J. Rosenbaugh at 

      RE/MAX Mesa Verde Realty     Colorado is …

    • House work - I hate it

      Mood October 7, 2009 7:37pm

      I really hate house work!

      My husband is up in the attic fixing the lights and has knocked now some insulation on the floor. Now, I HAVE TO VACCUUM. - …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give MidnightShadow a hug



    • I’m With You

      From snowflakeice November 11

      I hope you and your others are doing okay.

    • Hug

      From Newbee1 November 6

      When I'm sick I turn into a big baby, I think it's cuz I was never believed when I was sick as a kid. Back's better, bug's retreating, it's raining like a bugger and I volunteered to work the weekend. Pennies from heaven all the rain, could do without the wind though, :)

    • Chicken Soup

      From glittercat November 5

      Hope you feel better! I haven't been here in a few days because I've been really busy. Today I was offered a book contract for a book on Asatru I've been selling as an ebook for 7 years. And Native Seed Search firmed up our plans to reproduce some of my botanical sunprints on notecards for their catalog. And yesterday I got a backer for my next production run of my DVD, and on Saturday I'm giving a guest sermon at the Unitarian Universalist Church. Whew! Barely have time to cook, eat, and (four letter word for what happens after you eat.)

    • Hug

      From BSPUNKY November 5

      YES BUT I THINK THEY ARE FOR FRIENDS ONLY TO SEE(?) LOOK AND SEE IF YOU CAN SEE THEM- SPUNKY & FUZZY

    • Chicken Soup

      From bgranny November 5

      Hope you get better soon! We miss you!

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    Progress

    10 %

    Goal End Date is Jan 1, 10 40 more days.
  • Support Groups

    • Close Multiple Personalities

      I am a multiple and enjoy talking to other multiples. We understand each other.

    • Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      I have PTSD and like their discussions. I feel comfortable there. I have had a lot of therapy and read a lot of psych books, so I feel I can answer some questions. And I feel comfortable sharing there.

      Treatments

      Art Working / Worked
      It's great. I am a professional artist and usually paint to express a mood. But i also use art as therapy. I draw out my feelings without regard for the way it looks - this art is just for me and helps me work through my feelings.
      Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
      Hated it! I can't stand it when there is no cross-talk. I have to put in my own thoughts and I always think people hate me or I made a jerk of my self. In short, it did not work.
      Guided Imagery Working / Worked
      Helps me to sleep at night. Sometimes helps when I am in a panic attack. but I can only really use it when I am alone.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      The best thing in the world. While I was working I had my own favorite therapist. She changed my life. I have had many others, but she was wonderful. -- My insurance will not pay for therapy and I can't afford it. So that's life.
      Rape Counseling Working / Worked
      Helped for a while, then she just kept repeating the same things. It was not intense enough for me. i still fear men in blue plaid shirts. I will not leave the house without a car. And then I always park under a street lamp even if it is during the day.
      Reading Working / Worked
      I love psych books - have a library full of them. Some of the best ones I loaned to a friend and never got them back. Reading "When Anger Hurts" right now. I grow with each book I read. of course, the better the book, the more I learn.
      Seroquel Working / Worked
      Yea, but not as well as Lexapro, Xanax , Prozac. It does help me sleep - but not a well as ambien. I found if i took to much it has the opposite effect. therefore i am careful to follow the
      Talking Working / Worked
      This site has helped me a lot. I have been in & out support groups for 20 years. Loved it when I could afford a councilor. Too broke now & my insurance won't cover it. - When I go to AA, SA etc - I find it hard not to get feed back. I always think they hate me and i never return again.
    • Open Sciatica

      My doctor told me I have sciatica. I am in constant pain. Walking is difficult at best.

      Treatments

      Ibuprofen Working / Worked
      Give me a break. Does nothing.
      Stretching Working / Worked
      Helps a little. Lifting my legs and exercising gives me enough relieve to push myself to do more. I have to do them in intervals. 10 at a time, then another 10 later.
      Carisoprodol Working / Worked
      Relaxes my muscles. Allows me to get out of pain for about 2 hours. I usually only take them at night. I dont want to abuse them and then have nothing to help with the pain.
      Physical Therapy Working / Worked
      Teaching me exercises. I just started. I am hoping it will help
  • Groups

  • Friends


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