mila07

About Me

I have been battling depression most of my adult life-i first became depressed in college( i am sure i was depressed before then but to me it was just a feeling of being sad) My mother was a drug addict and beat my sister and me every chance she got, -although my father did not abuse me he was an alcoholic-i did not live with him til the age 16, both parents passed of cancer-(father -colon-, mother-breast) I have tried many times throughout the years to end my life. According to the hospital bills/records it seem like every 2-3years, medication and therapy has not help because once i felt better i felt things would be different. And they are not-about 3years ago i had a major breakdown(shaved my head) and during this time my partner of 13yrs was not getting along with my sister and caused me major stress(i felt like i was living with both my parents -STILL BEING ABUSED-VERBALLY SOMETIMES PHYSICALLY) now that i am back in therapy i see who and what my stressors are, it's just hard for me to not be around the people who cause me stress, also i have unresolved issues wth my mother.This is the first time i am really trying different avenues to get better, but my mind still won't allow me to see the rainbow, i have no faith that life will get better, i tend to isolate myself, I know that does not help my depression but it is very hard for me to allow people to get close to me, I think because I did not have a healthy relationship with either of my parents I am not able to produce one. I joined this site because I thought just hearing how other people get through the day might help me.

I have been battling depression most of my adult life-i first became depressed in college( i am sure i was depressed before then but to me it was just a feeling of being sad) My mother was a drug addict and beat my sister and me every chance she got, -although my father did not abuse me he was an alcoholic-i did not live with him til the age 16, both parents passed of cancer-(father -colon-, mother-breast) I have tried many times throughout the years to end my life. According to the hospital bills/records