Journal

I was recently told I have bioplar at age 42.  I was put in a terrible hospital and given medicine that made me "crazy".  I have 5 kids and the seperation from them brought me to my knees.  I only talked to a doctor for 5 minutes and then he put me on enough meds to make me loose my memory and be like a zombie and then I started hiding my medicine and not taking it and then they would not let me out of the hospital because I "endangered" myself and others!  It was a nightmare. 

I am now taking Depakote and it makes me depressed so I take Zolfoft which doesn't seem to help. 

I am working again, but it is a struggle to keep on going.

During this episode of Mania as they called it, I had a religious experience and am confused about this.

I want to find other Christians to talk to about this disorder.

I worked all night and need to go to bed for now, but will write my story in more detail later.  I just need someone to talk to who knows what I have and am going through.  I feel like I have been to hell and back and am scared to death!