Soph827's Journal

I'm feeling quite good today for once! :) I have been down in a bit of a funk for quite a long time, I havent felt like journaling or facing up to ed at all for a long time but since friday when i seem to have hit my lowest point in the morning i started to come back up again and slowly started to feel,stronger,more capable of fighting ed again and more optimistic about life in general.

Last week and b4hand, for quite a while I have been relapsing big time with binge/purge i was spending sooooooooo much $ and wasting soooooooooo much time doing it I missed a day of work to do it, I stopped hanging around with friends and Tim to do it and I went back home, to my parents basically just to do it! Not to see them but to use the house (as it is the easiest place to mess  up big time in and get away without anyone making a big deal out of it! It was really stressing my family out and my beloved Tim! I felt so bad but at the time I couldn't stop.

Anyway on Friday I just broke down into tears for the first time in like forever it felt awful and horrible at the time but as the day progressed i gradually felt better and better. Tim reminded me that I hadnt taken antidepressants for like 3days so I took 1 that afternoon and have been taking them everyday since so they really must be helping me out i think. That night Tim and I had a great night together and I felt great the next day too!

I went to Christchurch with My mum and dad, picked up my sister from the airport and had some well needed retail therapy! I bought Harajuku girls, baby perfume! which i have been looking for , for like forever! and new mascara,eyeliner. One thing that didnt make me feel so great was trying on jeans i usually fit a size 6 or 8 but in just jeans i tried them on and didnt fit either of those sizes so that made me feel slightly bad about myself and want to continue to loose some more weight!

I had another good day on sunday! very productive day indeed! I went for a 7km run,popped into see my parents ahd coffee with them at their place then at mine,then made the house all pretty and clean and did some resources for my practicum. Then Tim came home from work and we saw a really good movie District 9! Todays been a pretty good day too! ran 11km,dolled myself up for wrk and wrkd 12-3pm then Tim and I went for a drive and walk around the cliffs at the beach. I've started going to OA meetings so I went to my 2nd meeting their tonight and that was really positive and nice the ppl their are all very friendly and supportive. Even though i'm bulimic atm I have been there and no what its like to be a compulsive over eater so I can relate and talking and sharing with these ppl is helping me heal so far and feel not so alone in the local community with my issues of food!

So so far this week i'm progressing quite well! stopped the spending up large and b/p, havent even purged today (as i am feeling hungry a lot today! and dnt feel the need to purge) So all is well! I need to do some more course wrk though as i am going on prac nxt week wrghhhh wishme luk guys!

Soph