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tinynae 
8:10pm, November 4, 2009
Well I have had a set back and I am so darn disappointed. I had my normal blood work done on Monday, I was happy that day. I was so excited that I am half way there, as soon as this chemo is back. I know this is silly but I have even been having dreams that my hair grew back. Then comes Tuesday, and I am sure many of you Ladies know the feeling. You pray you don’t get a call from your chemo team that day, because when you do it means something isn’t right.
Well I got that call. I was getting ready for work and I got that call. It was my chemo nurse Ghert. She is a very sweet lady. She asked me how I was feeling the past few weeks. I told her how exhausted I have been and I am getting odd pains here and there, along with that nasty taste that seems to never go away. Oh and I experienced a sore on the side of my tongue last week. Anyways then she proceeded to tell me the news.
I couldn’t receive my 3rd round of chemo due to my platelets because they are way to low. I had this during my first treatment but after the second week they went up. This time they haven’t and what is bad is they are even lower then when I was the second week after my first cycle. My platelet count is at 39 thousand, in order to receive treatment the lowest I can be is 100 thousand. I’m not even half way there. So the plan is to wait. I will receive another blood test next Wednesday, and as long as they have gone up I will get my 3rd treatment on Friday.
The problem is my body is not responding as nicely as we would like to the therapy, it’s not tolerating it very well. I was told we just have to wait. Another stinking waiting game! I know I need to be patient, but I am so tired of being so tired. All of this is just changing me, I don’t know in to what but it is changing me, it already tore apart my life. I just want some peace.
Anyways, so needless to say I have to be very careful. Everything I do I need to be extra careful. Which is so weird because I have never been that way about myself at all, I always take care of everyone first. I was upset that I took extra time off from work for treatment, but then I realized it is best. The H1N1 virus has made it into my work place, one girl is hospitalized right now from it. I am too vulnerable to everything right now. So the extra day off is not going to hurt me at all. I slept my entire day away today, and if it wasn’t for getting Miles back this evening, I’d still be sleeping.
So now I guess I just wait. I try and take care of myself and wait, because that is all I can do. There is nothing they can do right now to get it back to normal, well a normal low. I just am very scared of the possiblities if they do not go back up.
Comments
Dear Renee
I`m so sorry to hear about your bloodcounts, however most of the ladies of this DS site have shared your experience. I was fortunate that I haven`t, however I was resistant to carboplatin/taxol and doxil. The only drug my body has responded to is Avastin/Gemzar. I know that this is a "waiting game" but you have to be patient and have faith that all will work out in a long run. I truly never expected to be on chemo this long, but will do whatever it takes, which is better than the alternative :(
This is a wonderful site with many who have shared our negative experiences and who are far worse than we. Lots of love, as always.
xxLinda
Lindaheff
Oh my, Renee,
You surely sound quite defeated today. Sorry to hear about the bloodcounts.
Yes, I had some similar set-backs when I was originally diagnosed 5+ years ago. What really amazes me is the fact that so many so you manage to do this chemo regimen and work. I had to take off when I was on Taxol/carboplatin...but then, I was hospitalized each time. With Doxil, I seem to have the energy just some yucky side-effects. So...eventually, you will see an improvement, and then your attitude can change too. It's a roller-coaster ride, no matter what. Please take care of you and get as much rest as possible. hugs, lindamae
lindamae
Again Sweetie, I can only say I love you and will continue to pray for you. If I lived nearby I would donate platelets in your name. For now I hope you can find comfort in our Lord. "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13 NIV).
thomas808
What about the shots? I know there is one for the red cell count and one for the white. I have had both. One is Neulasta and I can't remember the name of the other. Maybe someone here could refresh my memory. Ask you Onc. team about it. Love and hugs, Anita
anitaama
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm sorry I was being selvish. It is the roller coaster, and the fact my emotions I think are finaly catching up wo what has happened. I know I am beyond lucky with all of this right now. I don't know if there is a exact shot for this, but I will know more when I see my dr. again. When he wants something and knows whats best it is done right then and there, so with him wanting me to wait, well that is what I am going to do till he says so. I trust my Dr very much, I have been number one sense I became his patient. He treats me and speaks to me like he would to a daughter. Anyways, I don't know if I always say this enough...
But thank you!!! All of you!!! Thank you for always being so understanding and supportive!!!! It means the world to me! Hugs, and more hugs!
~Renee
tinynae
I'm praying for you tinynae, be sure to eat good.
MadMax13