ggcook

Close Breakups & Divorce

Ending a 5 yr. separation, after 26 yrs. of marriage, finally but sadly closing in on D-day. Just to see if anyone is in a similar place as I am..... unsure of what God wants for me (us).

Treatments

Couples Counseling Not Working

Did not feel true empathy and christian values were lacking. Both people gotta want the relationship to work. Otherwise it can't work.

Family Therapy Not Working

Nothing seemed to get resolved.

Forgiveness Too Soon to Tell

I prayed and worked my way toward forgiving him for about a yr. before I verbally forgave him. But this is something that will take time. When the other doesn't seem sorry or regretful or repentive, it feels so insincere to forgive them. But, I try anyway cuz that's what God wants us to do.

Leave Not Working

My husband left, and I think it's a cowardly move, because it's running away instead of dealing. Unless there is continual working on the relationship, then it could be beneficial. However, I think most often the runner is a conflict avoider.

Love Not Working

I think Love is a force that rarely, if ever, really dies. There is a part of my heart that will always love him, even though I don't like anything about him anymore. My love has changed.....much more protective of my self.

Music Working / Worked

Christian music gives hope.

Pets Working / Worked

During our separation, we lost our dog of 13 yrs.. It was almost too much for me. After a yr. of grieving for her, I finally wanted another puppy. Lots of work but lots of lovin too.

Psychotherapy Not Working

Not any help except for the RX refills needed for antidepressants.

Reading Working / Worked

The book Captivating was a tremendous uplifting read. It helped me to feel better about being me and female.

Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful

Very important, but not always helpful in the way you need it.

Support Groups Somewhat Helpful

Did quite a few. The more intimate smaller groups allowed more connection and personal relationships. Still involved in some and still friends with many participants.

Talking Not Working

I wish it could have helped, and if both want it to it may. However, when listening from the heart is absent, there is no point. Mature love makes you want to communicate intimately, and unhealthy or dying love doesn't try or want to.

Time Not Working

Time....51/2 yrs. of being separated is quite some time, especially when the one who wants the divorce does nothing about it. The limbo was very very draining and hard on my kids and on us.