crying again
September 26, 2009 9:56am
i want to move back in with my parents but i can't even look at my mom
Progress
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tesslynn84
2:57am Monday
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About Me
tesslynn84
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About Me
i'm 24 and currently unemployed because of health reasons. i was diagnosed with depression when i was 15, anxiety when i was 19, bipolar last year, and recently borderline personality disorder. every psych med i've been on has made me worse. i've been on zoloft, celexa, welbutrin, lamictal, abilify, geodon, gabapentin, seroquel, lithium, adavam, invega, and hydroxyzine. my life hasn't been worth living for so long now i can't even remember what it was like to be happy, or even ok.
i'm 24 and currently unemployed because of health reasons. i was diagnosed with depression when i was 15, anxiety when i was 19, bipolar last year, and recently borderline personality disorder. every psych med i've been on has made me worse. i've been on zoloft, celexa, welbutrin, lamictal, abilify, geodon, gabapentin, seroquel, lithium, adavam, invega, and hydroxyzine. my life hasn't been worth living for so long now i can't even remember what it was like to be happy, or even ok.
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Recent Activity
Monday
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tesslynn84 updated their status 2:57am
i can't sleep cause i can't stop crying. i'm spending thanksgiving and...…
November 10
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tesslynn84 gave lost2468 a hug 2:03am
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tesslynn84 updated their status 2:03am
i hide from people. i almost never leave my apartment. yet people i don't...…
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tesslynn84 changed their mood to Horrible 2:01am
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Journal
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can't sleep
September 26, 2009 9:54am
the new nurse practitioner i saw a few weeks ago told me to increase my meds but she didn't give me a new perscription so i ran out before the …
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i don't know what to do
September 19, 2009 10:12am
i quit my job and i don't want a new one. my brother who is my roommate is moving out next week. i don't want to live here anymore. i …
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crashing again
September 14, 2009 5:37am
i've been mostly fine ever since i quit my job two weeks ago, despite the fatigue, nausea, and insomnia. about an hour ago i felt like i was …
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Hugbook
Get Well Soon!
hey i hope u get cured of all the pain u feel
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Hug
thanks for the hug
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- every time i start seeing a new counsellor it seems to help for the first month then everything gets worse again
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- poor substitute for having people that actually care enough to talk to me
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
- fatigued and sometimes more severely depressed than before
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- made me extremely irritable my family talked me into quitting it
- Celexa Not Working
- worse depression and mood swings
- Trazodone Not Working
- helped me sleep nothing else
- Seroquel Not Working
- started freaking out all the time
- Geodon Not Working
- made me severely depressed within 15 minutes of taking it
- Electroconvulsive therapy Not Working
- was very mild for 2 minutes but made me feel stupid for 3 hours afterwards
- Abilify Not Working
- didnt help caused severe dehydration
- Caffeine Somewhat Helpful
- im always fatigued without caffeine. ive tried going for weeks without it many times thinking i was addicted to caffiene but the fatigue never lifts
- Invega Not Working
- slept for 24 hours straight after one dose
- Lamictal Not Working
- wasnt helping and i got a rash before dosage reached therapudic level
- Pepcid Not Working
- took it for nausea after i had mono when i was 17 because i could barely eat. didnt help
- Pepto-Bismol Working / Worked
- helps with the constant indigestion i have
- Vitamin B12 Working / Worked
- helps a little bit with my fatigue
- Vitamin E Not Working
- didnt notice any difference
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressioni've been fighting depression on and off for 9 years
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- Geodon Not Working
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Seroquel Not Working
- Trazodone Not Working
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- Writing Not Working
- Zoloft Somewhat Helpful
Open Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
i haven't been diagnosed but i'm tired all the time no matter how much good sleep i get or how good my diet is.
Open Back Pain
i threw my back out when i was in 8th grade. for the past 2 years i worked as a letter carrier for the post office which made my back worse so i had to quit.
Treatments
- Bedrest Not Working
- Chiropractic Adjustment Somewhat Helpful
- Ibuprofen Somewhat Helpful
- Naproxen Somewhat Helpful
- Relaxation Not Working
- Stretching Somewhat Helpful
- TENS Not Working
- Yoga Somewhat Helpful
Open Bipolar Disorder
i was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about a year ago but the last few months i've been doubting the diagnosis and so are the other doctors i've started seeing.
Treatments
- Abilify Not Working
- Ativan Somewhat Helpful
- they gave it to me at the hospital to calm me down but they might as well have given me alcohol. it's illegal to drive when taking it and i couldn't even walk straight on it.
- Celexa Not Working
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Not Working
- Geodon Not Working
- Group Therapy Not Working
- Lamictal Not Working
- Lithium Not Working
- when i started lithium i wasn't on anything else and hadn't had one suicidal thought for over a month. the day i started taking lithium i became suicidal again and the day i increased the dosage my suicidality became much worse.
- Seroquel Not Working
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- Neurontin Not Working
- couldnt tell any difference
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)i spent 4 days at the psych ward about 2 months ago and they suspected i have borderline personality disorder, but they wouldn't give me an official diagnosis
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
Open Insomnia
it's pretty mild compared to most people who are diagnosed with insomnia but my sleep schedule is very messed up and a few days ago i couldn't sleep for 36 hours straight
Treatments
Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety
i hate leaving my apartment and i almost always want to hide from everyone
Open Career Changes
i quit my job 2 weeks ago because it was destroying my back. now i don't know where to begin looking for another job or even if i can work
Open Chronic Pain
i threw my back out when i was 13 and for the past 2 years i had a job that was destroying my back. it's been months since i've had a day without back pain and siatica
Treatments
- Chiropractic Adjustment Somewhat Helpful
- Naproxen Somewhat Helpful
- Neurontin Not Working
- Yoga Somewhat Helpful
Open Degenerative Disc Disease
one of my vertebre has had a habit of rotating ever since i was 13. my chiropractor told me that the disc will start to degenerate because my adjustments won't stick
Open GERD & Heartburn
i went to the emergency room almost a year ago for severe pain in my chest. they diagnosed me with heart burn.
Treatments
- Aciphex Working / Worked
- Pepcid Somewhat Helpful
- Pepto-Bismol Working / Worked
Open Health Care Reform
i had health insurance when my health problems started, but they refused to pay for 99% of it, and other insurance companies wouldn't accept me because of preexisting conditions. i have now stopped talking to some of my family because of arguments over health care.
Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
i went to the doctor 3 weeks ago for nausea and diahrea i had been having for weeks. all of the tests they ran came back normal so the NP guessed i have IBS
Treatments
- Acidophilus Not Working
Open Loneliness
i'm lonely because i can't trust anyone
Open Mononucleosis
i had it 7 years ago and i think it permanently damaged my immune system
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
i've had many drs suggest that i'm ocd but no diagnosis. it might just be anxiety and tricotillamania
Treatments
Open Panic Attacks
i've had about 10 panic attacks in my life, most of them about 2 years ago.t i haven't had one in over a year but my other symptoms of anxiety and depression have worsened in the last year.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Seroquel Not Working
- Zoloft Not Working
Open Paranoia
i think that everyone's going to betray me or abandon me
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
every best friend and boyfriend i've had since highschool has been emotionally abusive
Treatments
- Forgiveness Not Working
- Group Therapy Not Working
- Leave Not Working
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Talking Not Working
Open Separation Anxiety
my mom refused to talk to me for months and now she claims that she wants to talk to me but i can't because i don't trust her anymore and she's been turning everyone against me
Treatments
- Music Not Working
- Pets Not Working
- Psychotherapy Not Working
Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Type: Compulsive Skin Pickingmy hair finally looked ok again then about two weeks ago i started pulling again and now i have an extremely noticable bald spot
