KangaRhew's Journal

I'm beyond tired, so Imma keep this short.

I'm still having nightmares, though. On Tuesday, I was reminded why I had skipped over Biology in my twelfth year of high school (aside from having that curmudgeon broad as a teacher YET AGAIN) - "On Thursday, we'll be doing our dissection. The fridge is full of fetal pigs, so we're good to go!" Oh, loverly.

I'm far from being a squeamish person, for the most part; I don't faint at the sight of blood or a particularly brutal wound. But animals have always been a sore spot for me. I'm not quite as pushy or...psychotic...as the typical PETA fur-coat-destroyer - however, I do share the majority of their ideals. I dance on the edge of vegetarian, and have for years (I have a distaste for the texture of standard tofu, which makes it somewhat difficult to manage, especially when I'm so lazy). I don't rally, I don't protest, I carry my opinions and ideals in the standard Bree-way: silently but viciously opinionated when confronted with ignorance. :P 

In any case, as much as it appeased me -slightly- (at least) to acknowledge that these were likely the victims of typical slaughter for pork, bacon, ham, whatever - mother pigs that were, unknowingly, pregnant with a litter until after the fact...it still really bothered me. Fortunate for me, I had a partner that once worked as a butcher, so she had no problem doing all the "hands on" butchery of the poor little thing...and a rather macabre sense of humor, it seemed, which I typically greatly appreciate, but found distasteful considering the circumstances. It was all very horror show. And generally heartbreaking.

And the best part? We didn't get it finished. So we cleaned it up and wrapped it up and get to commence on Tuesday.

Normally, I would get indignant, defiant, rebel against the system. If I were still 18 year old me, I would have. I would have demanded an alternative, refused to take part...but this class has cost me money. And I am doing remarkably well to boot (quite the teacher's pet, I've become) - whatever objection that I have would be received as "squeamish" and approaching my LPN program, who's to say that such a thing wouldn't be considered a deficit to my abilities?

Humans? I can take it.

Little critters? Not so much. :/

Sooooo, I do it. I pretend that it's...I don't know, something else. An elaborate fraud of a fetal pig, very grotesque in it's creation, but effective.

I'm disturbed.

More nightmares incoming, I am certain.

Anyways, stay strong. I need some eats, and some sleep.