Mend me. Break me. ,`
November 19, 2009 1:43am
She wears her heart on her sleeve,and hopes that none will harm it;and the slyest, they yet break itand the liars, they do charm it.Mend it over, …
KangaRhew
8:23pm Wednesday
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About Me
KangaRhew
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About Me
My name is Bree. I come from the Great White North (not really - Vancouver is far from "Great White North"). I'm presently unemployed, doing some upgrading in preparation for a Practical Nursing program that is starting in January (at which point I will have even less of a life than I have now). Dysfunctioned (aren't we all?) in one way or another, I'm still trying to figure it out, and dreaming of what it might be like on the other side of sick (and partly wondering if I want to know). That's pretty much me in a nutshell - a little crazy, mostly sweet, slightly sour, but it's a package deal. (Warning: depending on mood, has been known to swear like a sailor. :P)
My name is Bree. I come from the Great White North (not really - Vancouver is far from "Great White North"). I'm presently unemployed, doing some upgrading in preparation for a Practical Nursing program that is starting in January (at which point I will have even less of a life than I have now). Dysfunctioned (aren't we all?) in one way or another, I'm still trying to figure it out, and dreaming of what it might be like on the other side of sick (and partly wondering if I want to know). That's pretty
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Interests
Writing (stories/poetry), reading (stories/poetry), gaming, computers, music, movies, psychology, education, cartoons/anime, painting, photography, journaling, drawing, sewing, and a variety of things that are bad for me.
Writing (stories/poetry), reading (stories/poetry), gaming, computers, music, movies, psychology, education,
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Recent Activity
Thursday
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KangaRhew wrote a journal entry updating their NO MORE DRINKING! goal 1:43am
She wears her heart on her sleeve,and hopes that none will harm it;and the slyest, they yet break itand…
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KangaRhew changed their mood to OK 1:43am
Wednesday
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KangaRhew updated their status 8:23pm
One extreme to the other, and both of them unhealthy. Why is it so damn...…
Tuesday
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KangaRhew updated their status 2:05pm
Turn the page, a new chapter begins.…
November 15
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KangaRhew wrote a journal entry updating their NO MORE DRINKING! goal 3:02am
It is such a deep darkness that has settled upon me, as silent as the night's descent, and bitter…
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Journal
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As I stand upon the precipice of greatness...
November 15, 2009 3:02am
It is such a deep darkness that has settled upon me, as silent as the night's descent, and bitter as the cold realization of the futility of …
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Horror.
November 8, 2009 11:56pm
I'm beyond tired, so Imma keep this short.
I'm still having nightmares, though. On Tuesday, I was reminded why I had skipped over …
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Discombobulated.
November 4, 2009 2:00am
I feel like I'm not quite as angry today, but I know that it's been simple avoidance of the things that are aggravating me that seems …
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Highs and lows.
November 1, 2009 10:37pm
I feel like I'm having a really hard time coping this week; I feel like I've kinda given up, in ways. I don't know. Part of me was …
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Hugbook
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Photos
KangaRhew hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Psoriasis
Chronic, lifelong psoriasis sufferer (scalp only until around 20, now bloody everywhere). Just nice to have people to relate too. (Cutting down some of the bulk here - tried near everything under the sun for it, some worked, some didn't. On MTX now, glad it's not soriatane/cyclosporine, wishing it were biologics, etc etc, yadda yadda.)
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionChronic depression since my teenage years; we've been through a lot, me and depression, had our ups and downs (more downs than ups, unfortunately), but I just don't think she's planning on letting me go anytime soon... (Tried a variety of things, though can't afford any form of "medical care" that isn't a traditional pill pusher; currently completely untreated, thank you failing BC medical system.)
Open Alcoholism
Coming to terms with my alcohol dependence. I'm not one of those "wake up in the morning and open a bottle" alcoholics, but I do drink entirely more than I should, consistently feel guilty for it, always feel like an idiot the next day, drink alone 9/10 times, and use it as a coping mechanism for other disorders. It's destructive. And that's why I'm here.
Open Eating Disorders
Ongoing battles, ongoing battles... (I go back and forth between Anorexia and Chronic Overeating.)
Treatments
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Degrees of OCD for years now, nothing all that severe. I have "safe numbers" and I catch myself counting all the time. I also get persistent bad thoughts about dying in my sleep, as I try to sleep. Of course, a ritual to counteract it. Bad thoughts in certain circumstances (driving above 60kmph, tell myself to veer into oncoming traffic; walking across a bridge, tell myself to throw myself off it, etc etc)
Open Self-Injury
Means of coping with my depression, I've been a cutter for many years. I've gotten it mostly under control, I guess - that is to say that other coping methods became more OUT of control, of course. :P I still have the urge fairly frequently, and do hurt myself in other ways, now (picking, scratching, hitting, etc etc).
Treatments
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
I smoked for somewhere between 7 and 8 years, with several attempts at reform in between. Every time I tried, it just got harder and harder, and always led to relapse. I finally quit smoking in June 2009 and aside from bumming a smoke every couple months since, I know there's no turning back. :)
Treatments
- Cold Turkey Working / Worked
- Only way for me to go. I'm stubborn to a fault, though - if other ways work for you, it's good! I needed to prove that I could do it and do it on my own, using my willpower alone.
- Willpower Working / Worked
- See Cold Turkey.
Open Tinnitus
I've got really sensitive hearing and have unfortunately had tinnitus for probably 10+ years - I don't even really remember it's onset, and I'm so used to it by now it's just part of life. I've never used anything for it, but I have to keep the tv or the radio on at night.
Open Personality Disorders
KangaRhew hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Body Modification
KangaRhew hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
