Finally getting to a better place
November 8, 2009 11:01am
Well, I've been at the domestic abuse shelter for almost two months now. There are many things I love about being here: no bills to …
Progress
20 %
Catt39
8:54am, October 5, 2009
-
About Me
Catt39
-
About Me
I have five children (20yo son, 18yo daughter, 16yo son, 13yo daughter, and 8yo son), am currently unemployed and attemtping to appeal my denial for SSI. I am living with the first decent guy I've ever been with and he happens to be bi-polar. I have been depressed all my life (I remember symptoms as early as age 4), was diagnosed with it and suicidal by the time I was 10. Developed a severe panic disorder at 19 and had that pretty much daily til I was 29. I've self-medicated with booze and pot, been abused, and homeless and pretty much every other bad thing that could possibly happen to a person. Now I am trying hard to get over all that and move on.
I have five children (20yo son, 18yo daughter, 16yo son, 13yo daughter, and 8yo son), am currently unemployed and attemtping to appeal my denial for SSI. I am living with the first decent guy I've ever been with and he happens to be bi-polar. I have been depressed all my life (I remember symptoms as early as age 4), was diagnosed with it and suicidal by the time I was 10. Developed a severe panic disorder at 19 and had that pretty much daily til I was 29. I've self-medicated with booze and pot, been
-
Interests
Dancing, reading, singing, writing, yoga, meditation, spending time with my bf, spending time with my children, movies, Sims
Dancing, reading, singing, writing, yoga, meditation, spending time with my bf, spending time with my
-
-
Recent Activity
November 8
-
Catt39 wrote a journal entry updating their Manage my disorders goal 11:01am
Well, I've been at the domestic abuse shelter for almost two months now. There are many things I…
-
Catt39 gave JoeGoth a good luck wish 10:47am
Hope everything works out for you and your brother.…
August 1
-
Catt39 turned 39 12:00am
-
-
Journal
-
-
BPD
October 28, 2009 10:46pm
I recently found out through my therapist that I have borderline personality disorder. It's very sad becasue the disorder has no cure or …
-
Free at last!
October 5, 2009 8:59am
I left a relationship that turned abusive real fast. I wouldv'e never guessed it of the guy I was with, but there it was. He …
-
Finally some relief
September 23, 2009 9:01am
For the past month my anxiety was at a level of anywhere from 8-10 on a daily basis. Yesterday and today it seems alot better...more a 2 or …
-
September 22, 2009...first day of fall
September 22, 2009 9:02am
My anxiety was really high all day yesterday. I have had chronic diarrhea for about two weeks now, my stomach constantly hurts, my muscles …
-
-
Hugbook
Hug
Hi. I saw that things are starting to look up for you! I hope this finds you and your children well. As always, you all are in my prayers,Hon.
Blessings~
Stephanie-
Moment of Peace
how u doing? hope you and your kids are ok. i live in a kind of rough place so i can relate. take this moment of peace and i hope your god makes you feel better.
peace and love. Joe 
Chicken Soup
Hi, saw your post bout wut your bf did and screaming a threat. I was wondering, instead of going to homeless shelter, you might contact a local Salvation Army or St.Vincent de Paul? They wud be able to refer you to any & all services u & son wud need, & even a better place to go than the shelter... Don't take his abuse!! God bless u for all u are dealing with! :>)
-
Moment of Peace
thanks for writing on my post. peace and love. Joe
Thanks
thanks for the support!
-
Photos
Catt39 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
-
Advertisement -
Goals
-
Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI remember depressive symptoms as young as 5. By the age of 10 I was properly diagnosed with clinical depression and became suicidal. I've struggled with my depression ever since and am currently taking Remron for it, which is not working at all. I also developed a severe panic disorder at 19 and had that til age 29. I was panic free for the 7 years I was on Effexor...but this year started getting the panic attacks back and am on klonopin for that. I have been hospitalized for the panic.
Treatments
- Desipramine Not Working
- Was only on it for two weeks. Made me vomit the entire time I was on it.
- Effexor Working / Worked
- Took this from 2001-2008. The first month I was on it it worked amazingly well, after that month it took the edge off my depression and took my panic attacks completely away...but never seemed to work as good as that first month. I developed restless leg syndrome from taking it and had horrible withdrawal symptoms if I missed just one dose.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- Yea, this helps "in the moment" but is very difficult to maintain.
- Prozac Not Working
- Took this for 6 months back in 1993. Gave me chronic diarrhea, nightmares while awake, heard voices telling me to kill myself, saw things that weren't real. It was the worst experience with medicine I've ever had.
- Writing Working / Worked
- This helps sometimes with the anxiety.
- Yoga Working / Worked
- Works amazingly well with depression and anxiety, but my depression makes it difficult to stay motivated and keep up an every day yoga practice.
Close Anxiety
I got my first panic attack at age 19. Had a severe panic disorder til I was 29. Then I got on Effexor xr and it totally took my panic attacks away for the 7 years I was on it. Then I lost my medical card for a bit and was no longer able to take effexor. This past april I got the panic attacks back and was hospitalized for a week. Now im on klonopin for them. I still have anxiety at some level on a daily basis since then.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
- It helps sometimes, but sometimes not. As with all things I've ever tried for anxiety.
- Remeron Working / Worked
- I take this, but thought it was for depression. I do not like it. The first two weeks I was on it, I was suicidal and wasnt before taking it. Now, it no longer makes me suicidal but I feel numb emotionally....no bad or good feelings.
- Xanax Working / Worked
- Took this over ten years ago. It didnt give me any bad side effects but didn't work at all either.
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- Started taking this in april of this year. It worked amazingly well when I first started taking it but its now losing its effectiveness. I am going to talk to my dr. about upping the dose.
Open Self-Injury
I am a cutter. Started at age 13. Last cut was in July of this year.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Doesn't really help me much.
- Talking Working / Worked
- This can help, all depends on the person you are talking to. If it's a judgmental person it makes me feel worse.
Open ADHD / ADD
Diagnosed with ADD at age 25.
Treatments
- Research Working / Worked
- I find this helps the most out of anything else I've ever tried.
Open Bipolar Disorder
Have a daughter with type 2 bipolar, a female friend with type 1 and my bf has type 1 bipolar as well.
Open Rape
Was raped my first time at age 14 (I was a virgin), twice more (two different guys) at 18 and twice (two different guys) at age 38.
Open Family & Friends of Bipolar
My 18yo daughter is bipolar type 2.
Open Child Support & Custody
I have two children living with me (different fathers) and neither father is paying child support.
