wordologist

Close Fibromyalgia

In 1999 , I fell down a flight of stairs at the school where I worked as a science teacher and cracked two vertebrae in my back. I didn't get any better after a year of therapy. The pain never left me and the chronic fatigue was horrific! I couldn't go back to work as a teacher.. All my hard won strives to get out of poverty and an abusive relationship through education ( A Master's Degree in Education) seemed for naught. Why now! I cried. I feel like Moses, in the bible,only being able to see the promised land not live there. I had a job a loved at a school I loved and I was only there for nine months. I had just started making Master's degree pay. I miss my students and my paycheck! The spiral into poverty, the fight with the medical community about the legitmacy of my illness. the lost of friends and initimate relations have taken their toll . I am not the glamour girl I used to be My weight soared as I couldn't walked the three miles I did each day to keep slim . I walk with a cane My self esteem has tumbled in to the negative digits. People begin to look past me rather than at me My life became measured in inches I could move in an hour on the bed rather than dail work and social commitments completed in weeks. It was a waking nightmare. I grieved for what was lost a long time. I grieve even now. I have had this condition for ten years now. There are little slivers of life I can squeeze out now. Two of my paintings recently sold. I am geting my voice as a human being backI am beginning to rethink my place in the universe and of becoming an art therapist. I am dumping as much negative emotional baggage as I can shed as quickly as I can shed it. People who can not accept me as is with the joys and sorrows of life can bring are not worthy of me. All toxic relations are off limits for my health. This illness has forced me to streamline my life and keep some of the good stuff for myself. I am learning to parent myself . Dieting for a new life moving toward being a vegan. massage , herbal remedies and good strong drugs at times. Letting go of rigidness and embracing new possibilities of solutions.Faith in the almightly ability to work out the impossible details.have given me hope.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

II have had therapy for other reasons. Two periods of seual abuse child .Only now am I going back for help with Fibro

Writing Working / Worked

I I can only use this therarpy intermittently due to chronic fatique and problems with my hand ocassionally

Positive Thinking Working / Worked

I I am working on a new belief platform now

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

I found more support from friends than family

Paxil Working / Worked

This worked for a while then I had a very nasty reaction andended up in a hospital. I wouldnt suggest this drug to any one due to the side effects. Now the side effects are more commonly reported. I experienced sucicidal thoughts and three weeks of uncontrolled depression and crying. Thank God I had the sense left to tell some one . The medical professional should be hung out to dry for the treatment I recieved. I find it difficult to trust any of them now.