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sarahw 
Well I havent written since Novemeber of 2007. I guess I just didnt know what to say. the holidays were really tough for all of us. then we had Andys would be 23rd B-day on January 29th. So it seemed the whole stretch from November to february were really hard. The second yeear of losing my brother brings the reality that he is really not coming back. But it also brings me time to reflect on the blessing in my life and how I have grown in this past yaer. My parents are struggling still, and we all just work on living day to day without Andy. But the signs we have been given by him and our love and faith in God and heaven has kept us going. I know it will continue to grow.
I have also been blessed with a future little boy! I am just about 5 months pregnant and absolutely thrilled! My husband is more excited than I have ever seen him. His name will be Maximus Andrew. We will call him Max. The Andrew of course my little brothers name. It means "Greatest Warrior". And if you knew Andy you would know that described him!
My cat Jack died from eating an easter lily. In case you dont know (which I didnt), they are poisonous to cats and cause renal failure. It broke my heart. He was there for me always, and my favorite pet. He was like my child. I know he is a cat, but I think it was hard too because it brought back those feelings of loss. Like coming home and him not being there. (Different but realtable)
So all in all its been an exciting, tough, bitterweet few months. I continue to grow in faith and love for God. I look for the best in each day, and cherish what I have today. I am blessed in so many ways, and I know that Andy is continuing to watch over us and help us continue on this life journey until we see him again.
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Tomorrow my family leaves for Key Largo. It will be a very nice relaxing time, but a very bittersweet and sad time as well. November 25th is One Year since Andy died. I cannot believe it honestly. It seems this has been the longest year of my life, yet it seems like yesterday he was here. I have learned much about myself in this past year, and I have found so much goodness in people I never even took the time to know. Our family has been blessed with so much love and support and they are still supporting us. I know that we are here on this earth to love one another, and help each other. That is God's plan for us. I know that I will meet Andy again one day in heaven, but I am not finished here. It will be a long time before I see him again, but I hold him close to my heart everyday. I miss him more than words can say. My parents are realy struggling now, and that just adds to my grief. I feel I have had such a burden on my shoulders beacuse I cannot be happy unless my parents are. I have learned that I cannot make them feel better. We are all on our own journeys. I can only pray for them and love them. My dad has grown older in this past year, and I can see the sadness in his eyes always. They have changed so much, yet he continues to live life to the fullest. I guess he got that form ANdy. I am grateful to God for givingme 21 beautiful years with Andrew, and I will cherish them forever. Whoever said that a year is a good timeline for healing is sadly mistaken. Yes, I have healed. I no longer have that excruciating pain that I did in the beginning, I just have a constant hole in my heart. And sometimes it aches worse than others. I want to fis everyone, and I cant. I can just ask GOd and Andy to keep guiding us and loving us, and healing us. Thank you all for your love and support. I will return on the 25th of November. Please keep my family in your hearts and prayers. Say a little prayers to my little red headed brother for me!
Love, Sarah
Love, Sarah
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I'm so proud of you Sarah. You've been through a tough year without Andy and look at you! There's so much love and hope in your heart, it makes me smile and makes me feel so grateful for everything in my life. I've learned the loss of someone close to you will never get easier, but you do learn so much about yourself and others. As for your parents, I'm sure you have made them feel a lot better, just by being there and loving them. I know it's super hard on parents because no parent should ever bury their child, but your whole family is strong and God and Andy are watching over you and wishing the best for everyone.
I will be thinking of you and your family and will say a prayer every night.
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Yes, we are forever changed by the death of a loved one, especially when it's a death out of time. It was encouraging to read of your growth and healing. Thank you for sharing.
I have been so busy with work and school that I have not been on in a while, but I am glad i can always ocme back and share. This weekend is my 1 year wedding anniversary. I have such sad feelings becuase my wedding was the best week ever. We all went ot Key Largo, just my close friend and family. It was a wonderful and amazing time! That was the last time we had a trip with Andy being there. And I got married to my beautiful husband. Then, on November 17th at 1am I got the call from my dad saying Andy was in an accident and he had a serious braing injury. The next week he died. We buried him one month exactly form the date of my wedding. This year has been the saddest year of my life, but it was supposed to be happy. We are forever changed, and now, when I think of my wedding it crushes my heart to think that a year ago, our lives were perfect, and a year later, forever changed.
I miss Andrew more now than I ever have. It's like the reality is finally sinking in. And the acceptance part of it? I have no idea if I am near accepting it. It's just seems every day is anohter day we have to learn to live without him, and each event is another that he is not there. I want to be happy about my anniversary, but it is too bittersweet. I winder if I can ever celebrate it happily?
Then coming up on Novmeber 25th, will be one yaear since his death. Please pray for my family that we can get thorough all of this.
I love YOu all, and plan to be around more to support all of you likeyo have supported me!
Saraj
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I know its hard, but you should try and think of the good times you all had with Andy. Think about how happy he was to be apart of your wedding...and even though he's not here physically, you know he's there with your spiritually. My mom's birthday is Nov. 16th and even though it's been 13 years since she's been dead, it's still not easy to deal with that day. But when I have hard days, I think about all the people I have and remember I'm so lucky to have them.
You are so strong. I know you and your whole family will be okay cause you guys have such a strong bond and I can tell there's so much love. I don't think I've seen or heard about a close knit family like yours.
I'll definitely say a prayer for you and your family. Big HUGS
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It seems that happy events become tainted with saddness when we lose a loved one. My daughter's birthday is right before mine. She also died the day before my mother's birthday. So much of life is bittersweet. I wonder if our losses ever truly are "real" to us, when that reality is so painful. I'm glad you had your wedding anniversary to celebrate.
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PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THAT YOU ALL GET THROUGH THIS VERY TOUGH TIME!!!CONGRATS ON THE 1 YR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!!!!
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its very good to hear from you and how wonderful you will be a mommy. that baby will always have an angel by his side watching over him, just as my grandson does with his uncle joey. huge hugs
mari3333
Gee, I've missed you. I always have good thoughts for you, in knowing that you'll always be taken care of. You have a great support system. I know the excitement of Max and going back to school keeps things fresh and anewed. The circle of life sucks rocks. WIshed we could change that about our planet earth. I'm sad to hear about your cat. I know how it feels. My cat, Bear was chewing on a ficus plant leaves and he slowly got distemper like over a period of a year, til the point where he was charging me and growling at me from across the room. Wasn't til I put him to sleep, that I figured out it his temperment had to do w/Chloe being poisoness. Those furballs are our friends, rocks and life support system...I'm sorry to hear about your cats passing. In time, you'll know when ya need to have another cat. My Lion fell right into my lap, so to speak...he's the new one and very funny. Well, again, miss you. My thoughts are always w/you. Have a great day and we'll chat soon!
Loving2Bme
GREAT HAPPY NEWS ABOUT YOUR SON.
Take care,
Ann
AnnM
Awww that is wonderful news!! Congrats! Sorry about the cat =( it's so hard losing a best friend, even if it was a cat. Take care!
loss4wrds