Journal Entry for September 3, 2009
September 3, 2009 11:21pm
Why do I have thoughts about how to end my life as if it was a normal thought.... I don't even realise I'm doing it until I've …
wanab 
8:11am, September 14, 2009
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About Me
wanab
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About Me
I'm 26 years old, have two gorgeous children and I'm getting married to my partner of 3 years in June 2010. I am due to go back to work in the next couple of weeks as an estate agent which I am looking forward to.
I'm 26 years old, have two gorgeous children and I'm getting married to my partner of 3 years in June 2010. I am due to go back to work in the next couple of weeks as an estate agent which I am looking forward to.
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Day 1
September 2, 2009 12:00pm
Don't really know how to work this web site yet, but I'm really hoping I can make some friends with people who understand what I am going …
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Hugbook
Moment of Peace
OMG I am in the boat with you sister. My DH ex is OCPD, Bi Polar, Has anxiety and depression. I also think she might have fictitious disorder (where she makes stuff up medically wrong with the children). She makes my life a living hell!!! My Husbands too. We both hate her. However, I am also here to find ways to coexist with her, because this is forever. Also regardless how we feel about her, she does love the children in her own way and well lets face it. She gave birth to them. The best thing you can do is let your husband know how serous you are about not letting her get away with anything. he can fight her in court so she does not have the right to take visits away. you need to document everything and show that you have had the kids on those certain days and this is how it's been for so long. It would prove harmful to them if the schedule would change. He has rights. it wont change custody, only visits. Also, write down every threat from her. It's also a good way to vent. I write letters to my crazy Bio Mom that I keep , but will never send. Only to keep the peace. if it weren't for my husband and kids she would have heard lots from me long ago!! I could make her cry! Sometimes I want to just slap her and shake her and say...DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR ACTIONS ARE MAKING US ALL MISERABLE?!!
Hug
i hope you are feeling better
star13
Hug
Im sorry its hard for you, dealing with your issues and having a young one must be hard, im sending you the hugs you really need right now and i hope they can help you in a little way. My thoughts are with you xx
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Hug
Hello GemX,
thank you for your kind words. it is really tough cause i've never really talked about it in much detail to anyone. it's like i thought i was okay and maybe repressed it for 10+ years. now that i'm talking about it..i feel really strange today. like out of reality, unreal, scared, sad, angry..all of these feelings and i don't know what to do with them.
i want to talk w/ my partner too about it, but i won't see him until the weekend. he knows it happened to me and knows it causes issues between us sexually sometimes. but i don't really even know what to say to him or how to explain. mostly it's just that i feel bad for the times when he would get frustrated/upset and say 'i'm not a rapist. i'm not trying to over power you.' i felt it meant he didn't understand the trauma of what happened. but i know he was only upset because he thought i was thinking bad things about him. but i can't help if i suddenly get a flashback or freeze up.
mostly i need help in feeling secure with him...he's never done anything to hurt me and is very patient and understanding usually. it is just the times i kind of closed down and didn't know how to explain things to him that he got upset.
and i just want to be okay w/ that...and not think that him being upset doesn't mean he doesn't care/understand.
thanks for listening,
star13 
I’m With You
Welcome to our group Dont Give Up.Please feel free to
post anything you like. If you need to talk I am only
a message away. I am always here for you!
Sending lots of Love your way!
(((Hugs))) Maria
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Close Depression
: Clinical (Major) DepressionAfter giving birth to my second child in October 2009, I have been suffering with depression. It hit me when my son was around 2 months old, not wanting to see anyone, not getting dressed or wanting to get out of bed if I could get away with it, crying and feeling very angry to name just a few. I was getting very frustrated with not knowing what was wrong with me; I have a supportive partner, two gorgeous children and everything to live for. In the year of 2006 I split with my daughter's father who was abusive both physically and mentally to me and was mentally abusive to our daughter. I met him when I was 15 years old, and was at a complete loss as to where to go and what to do. In the same year, I was also sexually assaulted after having my drink spiked in a night club. This obviously affected my life, but somehow I managed to put it to the back of my mind and not think about it. When I met my partner I started having flashbacks and often thought about what I had been through. I guess I was finally happy and had 'time' to relax and think about life whereas before I was always kept myself busy. I eventually sort help via a counsellor after becoming suicidal. She confirmed I was suffering from PND (post natal depression) and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)
Treatments
- Writing Not Working
- I kept a diary for a while about how I was feeling but didnt really help.
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- I just dont know how to think positive! My partner says I am very black and white.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- I have a very supportive partner 90 of the time but unfortunately I dont have any females in my family that are supportive. My mum is very controling and I have had major problems with my family.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Tryed this with my counseller also tryed EMDR.
Close Rape
Victim of 'date rape' 3 years ago
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Ran out of money due to being made redundant but was working very well.
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- Not spoke with anyone who has been through what I have been through, so would very much like to make friends and help others.
- EMDR Somewhat Helpful
- Had to stop due to lack of funds but found it helpful
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Suffer from PTSD after being raped
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- EMDR Somewhat Helpful
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- Hope being on here will help
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- Just reducing medication now, finding it bloody hard going!
Open Step Families
I am a step mum to 2 kids, boy who is 12 and girl who is 7
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