boulosemile

Give boulosemile a hug

Give boulosemile a Hug

Hug

Prayer

Flowers

High Five

Good Luck

I'm With You

Celebration

Congrats

Kiss

Present

Get Well

Love

Peace

Sunshine

Superhero

Well Done

Thumbs Up

Shout Out

Gold Star

Rainbow

Sorry

Funny Face

Go For It

Miss You

Sympathy

Thanks

UR Welcome

Chocolate

See Ya Later

Chicken Soup

Your message of support:

Add boulosemile as a friend

• 

  Hug

  From Lorilou October 28

  Hi SheenRe,
  
  Thanks for asking.
  
  I hear where you are coming from. I'm glad you therapist supports you. It makes since after reading that book that your trauma from the past just piggy-backs onto the new trauma. I'm making a list from the last book on things we can do to get rid of the PTSD. Some of it is very philosophical but it makes since.
  
  Sober and I are in a new stage of relationship. Before when he would act grumpy and angry I'd just blow him off and go hang out with the girls or do something with my boys. We'd all joke about him just being Grumpy and by him Grumpy t shirts and coffee mugs. When I'd blow him off he'd go act-out. It was the perfect marriage of two very avoid-ant-relationally-dysfunctional people. Now we have to face our demons when things are uncomfortable. So now when he gets angry I can no longer blow him off know now what I do about what he used to do to sooth himself. Instead I feel the whole gambit of emotions derived from PTSD-anger, sadness, fear. So the other night I drew a line in the sand and said you need to have a game plan for getting over this anger before you come home tonight. Well that stirred up a whole mess of our issues but now WE have a game plan for dealing with the anger. We have a couples therapy session set two weeks from now. He is talking with his individual counselor and we plan to set out on this new task of working on the anger so that we can be a functional couple.....After all was said and done we got a laugh out of our 9 year old son's interpretation of what happened as he said..."Mom did you tell dad he had to stay at the office till he stopped being grumpy because he is in time out?" (At the time I was so mad but when he said that I didn't know if I should laugh or cry). But when he got home after talking to the two therapists he was very happy to be welcomed home.
  
  Now my individual therapy involves EMDR which is used for relieving the symptoms of PTSD. (Eye Movement Desensitization Somthingorother) It was used for war veterans suffering from "Shell Shock." I have to say it is working in the strangest ways. So for that I am glad. I reprograms faulty thinking. I started with the defective thought I was taught as a kid that somehow I was defective and changed that to "I am not defective." That lead to some later crystallisation's of who I really was and also lead to some other trauma that had been hounding me for years....So now we are dealing with that.
  
  It's funny, I know this is so cheesy but in a way I am glad for what I've learned about my husband as without that I would not have bothered to address other issues that have plagued me throughout my life.
  
  I just want to comment SheenRe, whoever gave you your current interpretation of the Bible and what God wants for you was seriously mislead. God wants you to be a warrior, a fighter for righteousness, he wants you to first love him and yourself simultaneously so that you can then love others. Without those first elements it is impossible to love others. I know you respect yourself on some level, you've said so. But do you really love and cherish yourself...even when you were not such a perfect and sinless being. Can you look at yourself during the darkest days of your sins and go back and cradle yourself in loving arms with empathy and love? I know for me that was a hard one...It still is but I am working on it. I think there was a part of me that I rejected and was disgusted by, I had no compassion for that part of myself. I believed what the patriarchal society said about women and out of that grew a vengeful-hatred toward men that was eating me alive and a disgust for myself for being too weak to keep them from overpowering me.
  
  Thanks for listening, love ya,
  
  Jenn

• 

  Thanks

  From Cherie1 October 20

  Thanks boulosemile!
  Hope all is well with you.
  
  Cherie

• 

  Hug

  From EmTheo October 18

• 

  Good Luck

  From Calibama October 7

  Good luck to you on your path as well!

• 

  Hug

  From CheatedHeart September 15

  Thank you for the hugs i raelly need them

Read Hugbook