September 8th - Between visitors
September 8, 2009 9:22am
Had a lovely weekend with Paul and Maureen - friends from England who are doing a last tour of France before emigrating to New Zealand next …
LostInFrance
2:46pm, November 1, 2009
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About Me
LostInFrance
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About Me
Later perhaps. Passion: That the NHS be made to call men for prostate checks in the same way we get mammograms.
Later perhaps. Passion: That the NHS be made to call men for prostate checks in the same way we get mammograms.
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September 4th
September 4, 2009 10:04am
I've realised I'm wallowing in misery today. People coming for the weekend tomorrow, I'd better pull myself together and get …
This entry is private
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Deep breath .... here goes. Our Story.
September 1, 2009 8:06am
Back when it all started, I wanted to set up a blog called "how Brian Is", but he found the idea offensive and so I didn't. I …
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Hugbook
Thanks
Thank you. I am very new at this and I never thought it possible to be computer shy, but I guess if you are shy in person, there isn't much difference! :)
Hug
thanx for the jornal comment
Chocolate
dear lostinfrance,
yeah, many if not all, have let me down due to bp but, i never expected the same thing to happen over here too!! yes lostinf; i am really interested and try me best to follow the teachings of the buddha but, right now, due to many reasons, me emotions have taken over objective thinking.
i am so sorry about brian. was he ur hubby? i too lost me dad over a year ago - 10th of june to be exact n the worst was; obviously other than the passing on of me dad was that not a single of me so called friends came for the funeral. there was a notice in the news papers too n it was rather embarresing for me cos usually at a funeral over here there are always a bunch of close friends around the grieving, especially if he or she is young - not that i am really young though! i am 38. single n unemployed all cos of bp but, i sometimes think not only cos of bp. see here in asia stigma is high about mental illnesses, so parents dont like their children geting married to someone like that, so the chances of someone with the likes of bp getting married is rather slim, other than if he or she finds the rare partner who will understand n love unconditionally n get black listed from his or her family in the process.
i love writing letters and i guess it is begining to show! lol
if u are looking for a jesting person with a wicked sense of humour and with down right black humour too U HAVE GOT THE RIGHT NUMBER!! i jst love to jest cos i have been hurt so much and the attention and the pleasure of sharing a good joke in exchange for laughter is magic - as u must be knowing well too. see i am an ex cartoonist; so all me 'good' humour turned to 'black' cos i am still pissed off about loosing me job during a relapse, involving my editor. also jestig is in me blood cos me dad died laughing.
speaking of death; i found ur humour, about poor brian's ashes rather crass. i think it is a cultural thing. anyways that was a excuse a woman on ds said when i asked her why on earth she called me a WANKER!! to get back to the point here in sri lanka; a tropical isle in indian ocean, we bury the dead ( remember the infamous quote - i come to bury c. not to give him a raise?) so that the insensitive n hyperhumourus relatives cant get hold of the dead man/woman/other n stuff them into cars n take them around shopping.
of course, i would love to have a have a friend like u; cos unfortunately for some unknown reason ( i personally think the FBI is involved in this) there is a dearth of genuinely funny ppl; especially ones that can laugh and cry buckets at the same time!!
hope to hear from u soon!
kindest regards,
omarc71
ps - this swiss choc (made in china) is especilly for u!
Prayer
so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you-xx
Hug
Thank you.... I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
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Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpousePartner died 18-7-09. Secondary bone cancer, prostate primary. Alone now in France - devastated.
Treatments
- Crying Too Soon to Tell
- My eyes are wet so often without any conscious thinking, or being aware that I'm crying.
- Getting Angry Considering
- Frustrated at some friends keeping their distance. Feeling threatened? But I have so few over here. I must NOT lash out at them.
- Helping Others Considering
- CSF (Cancer Support France) meeting on 21 Sep. Other anglophiles must need what I do.
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Keeping busy helps, but lethargy usually wins out. Bought a jigsaw - might start it soon. I play a lot of online games, but feels like time-wasting. Can't face deskwork.
- Music Not Working
- Everything resonates back to Brian.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Amazing how there seems to be something in almost every piece of fiction I read that makes me cry.
- Support from Friends & Family Not Working
- I don't want to bother them and tend to keep up a front the few times they're around, Visitors are starting to do my head in. When they're here I want them to go, when I'm alone I want someone here. Weird!
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Only found this today and it seems to help. Started journalling - wish I'd done it sooner.
- Time Too Soon to Tell
- How on EARTH can it be over 6 weeks already???? Every day is an effort.
- Valium Somewhat Helpful
- Keeps me calm but running out. Will soon have to use the Prozac I got dispensed for him but he never used.
Close Depression
My man died and I'm struggling with being alone living in a foreign country.
Treatments
- Valium Working / Worked
- Working I think. 2mg. Take 2 when it all gets too much. Been on it since November when he was diagnosed with advanced cancer. He died in July.
Open Widows & Widowers
Because the "support like you've never seen" from my friends has remained invisible after 6 weeks, and I HURT because of it. DEATH IS NOT CATCHING AND WIDOWS DON'T WANT YOUR MAN - we just want our own back.
Open Fitness Goals
Type: Maintain a workout scheduleI need accountability to get myself using my gym equipment regularly.
Open Dystonia
Is this the problem I have? - acute and long-lasting cramps in the abdomen - which I had put down to stress. Plus endless leg cramps through the night, and cramping when writing.
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