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mari3333 
10:41am, October 11, 2008
actually how I feel is this
'fuck you god whatever you are, just, fuck you.'
Comments
actually how I feel is this
'fuck you god whatever you are, just, fuck you.'
I am so sorry for your rage ....it is part of this ..this ...whatever you want to call it. I know it very well. I hope you can get past the hating God part. How about hating satan...he is behind all of this. It is the bad that is responsible for death...not the good....not God. I could feel the way you are feeling now but I don't...I am angry at God for not intervening but not forever....I loved my son as much as you love yours and yet, I don't think I owe it to God to stay mad at Him. How can you be mad at something you don't believe in anyway?
Kingsdaughter
I understand, but am in a different place with my "god".....a place of not understanding a darn thing I used to think I understood. A place of not understanding what or if God is. I no longer hate "him" because I no longer am sure there is "him". Neither can I hate "satan"......what/who is "he". I do hate the circumstance. I do hate that Kala is no longer in the flesh with me. I do hate sometimes that I still am walking this earth. I do hate the empty chair, the empty parking spot, the empty room, the quietness left behind. But "god", I'm just so unsure.......
No matter what "I" am feeling or believing in this moment though, it doesn't change how you feel or believe. And I love you and support you no matter what. I'm angry with you. I'm anger for you. Joey should never have left as he did. It's unfair and it's pure torture for a mothers soul. I understand, and I care. Always, Teri.
RememberKala
Yes I questioned God for a long time after my Bobby died, but I am like Teri I am at peace knowing that someday I will see my son again. I don't care for how things have went in my life but I know that without my God I would be so much worse off than I am now. So I will pray that you find some peace with the journey that you are traveling...LOve & hugs, Connie
ConH
I re read my post here and want it made clear about my last statement....I DO believe in God...I have been mad at him and have felt betrayed by Him since my son died...I can't deny the very Creator who brought this wonderful child into my life. I have been blessed for nearly 29 yrs. with the presence of this gift and am filled with a lifetime of memories....I guess I could go on and continue to be mad but I feel that it would upset my son who is already with the God I taught him about and he would never choose to leave that place to return here...to a suffering world that is sinking further and further....my hope is to join him...not for him to join me. I am just sharing not condemning...these are my thoughts and beliefs that give me some kind of peace in this chaotic unfair life and because it does...I would like for others to know about it. That's all.
Kingsdaughter
I hear your pain and I am so sorry..
munrogirl
I know your pain and felt as you do at one point, but this pain is more than I can handle alone. I 'relented' and prayed for God's help. I had to.
Perhaps you will do the same. I am not sorry I did.
No human can ease this pain. This is the time to ask for God's help. Your son's passing was not God's will!
Wishing you peace,
Susannah
Soosanah