mari3333's Journal

I realize that grief is only my ego interpreting that joey doesnt exist by worldly standards and rules. I am dumping those rules, I will dump them all and be aware of the fact that Joey always is, always has been and always will be. Just like everything else. Nothing I have been taught is true, there is no Newtonian system of material objects. Nothing is solid, nothing is anything but a perception we have of solidity in objects that are actually light. everything is made of light. we project a perception that they are solid. Scientists confirm this. Joey exists, but I have to see him in a different way, the essence of Joey, the essence of me, the essence of everything has nothing to do with a solid object that Joey once inhabited (the body). Joey was not his body and I am not my body. There is a great mistake in thinking we are our bodies. we might as well look in our closets and think our winter coats are our bodies, thats how silly it is.

I still have an issue with whatever the hell god is. who knows? If its anything like the people I have met who have had near death experiences tell me, it sounds like a pretty cool thing. But I think it has a lot to learn when it comes to creating THIS particular dimension. this dimension, with its drama and bullshit, is a pain in the ass. Maybe this dimensional perception is hell. anyway, it feels like it.