Journal Entry for November 4, 2009
November 4, 2009 12:18am
actually how I feel is this
'fuck you god whatever you are, just, fuck you.'
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mari3333
10:41am, October 11, 2008
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About Me
mari3333
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About Me
i am a 57 year old person. i have had 2 husbands cross out of their bodies, a father, and now my 23 yr old son. i have 2 other sons and a stepson and 2 grandchildren. i can honestly say that having a thousand husbands and fathers cross over isnt even close to having a son cross. this is huge. some days i am barely functioning, others, i dont function at all. functioning is overrated anyway. i can also honestly say i do long to let go of my own body, as do most parents who go thru this. in the meantime, i just get thru the days til i can be out of this body.
i am a 57 year old person. i have had 2 husbands cross out of their bodies, a father, and now my 23 yr old son. i have 2 other sons and a stepson and 2 grandchildren. i can honestly say that having a thousand husbands and fathers cross over isnt even close to having a son cross. this is huge. some days i am barely functioning, others, i dont function at all. functioning is overrated anyway. i can also honestly say i do long to let go of my own body, as do most parents who go thru this. in the meantime,
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Interests
thank god for my dog, cat, and parrot.
thank god for my dog, cat, and parrot.
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Recent Activity
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1 journal comment
November 4
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mari3333 wrote a journal entry: Journal Entry for November 4, 2009 12:18am
actually how I feel is this'fuck you god whatever you are, just, -- you.'…
November 3
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mari3333 wrote a journal entry: Journal Entry for November 3, 2009 5:54pm
I realize that grief is only my ego interpreting that joey doesnt exist by worldly standards and rules.…
July 25
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mari3333 turned 58 12:00am
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Journal
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Journal Entry for November 3, 2009
November 3, 2009 5:54pm
I realize that grief is only my ego interpreting that joey doesnt exist by worldly standards and rules. I am dumping those rules, I will dump them …
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for October 2, 2009
October 2, 2009 10:30pm
Well, I wake up in the morning and say "oh shit. here I am again, still doing maintenance in 3 dimensions". so, as joey once said in a …
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Journal Entry for September 17, 2009
September 17, 2009 10:23pm
oh shit. thanksgiving falls on the same day that joey walked on.
nov 26.
this just sucks.
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Hugbook
Hug
Thank you Mari....for your understanding and the time to comment. I have read your journal and know you have suffered so much loss. I pray for you peace and here is a big cyber embrace just for YOU! Love....Dale...Brandon's Mom
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Great big hug for you! I am not online as often these days but I do think of you and all my other friends, often. I hope you are doing okay. Peaceful wishes, Ginger
Rainbow
Hi Marianne and Joey. Thinking of you...
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Sending lot's of love and big hugs to you. Miss you my friend. Hope all is well. Hi to Joey.
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Got to get the lawyer to call me back!! But read my journal now...I finally found something ....i hope the lawyer will do this for a percentage of anything I might get from the wrongful death suit. There has to be a lawyer out there who will do it. love, lana
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Childthere is no death, or loss. my son 's physical body has let go, but he is very much alive and has shown me. he let go of his body on nov 26 06. i must get to know him as he is now. he is helping me with that. his physical body was 23...who he is , is infinite."Birth and death are not two different states, but they are different aspects of the same state."
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- initially saw psychiatrist for trauma and meds no longer want the meds
- Crying Working / Worked
- cry a lot
- Pets Working / Worked
- my dog albert is my best friend. so is my cat and my bird/
- Prayer Working / Worked
- pray in my own way a lot
