Journal Entry for November 10, 2009
November 10, 2009 2:49pm
i have ideas down and some of the first chapter written
Progress
15 %
AmalaS
2:43pm, November 10, 2009
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About Me
AmalaS
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About Me
I'm a 27 year old woman. I work at Burger King and trying to go back to school. There really isn't much to say about me. I have two brothers and a sister. I have one nephew that is two. I live with my mom and sister. My parents are divorced.
I'm a 27 year old woman. I work at Burger King and trying to go back to school. There really isn't much to say about me. I have two brothers and a sister. I have one nephew that is two. I live with my mom and sister. My parents are divorced.
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Recent Activity
November 10
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AmalaS wrote a journal entry updating their Write my first short book goal 2:49pm
i have ideas down and some of the first chapter written…
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AmalaS updated their status 2:43pm
I put a bruise on myself that was the size of my fist and no one saw it...…
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AmalaS wrote a journal entry updating their Be a happy person goal 2:39pm
I get it now, I completely understand. I am supposed to love and care for everyone else, but they don't…
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Journal
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I Understand
November 10, 2009 2:39pm
I get it now, I completely understand. I am supposed to love and care for everyone else, but they don't have to show the same in return. They can …
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Untitled
September 7, 2009 2:07pm
Well I have decided to write a short 6 chapter book about my depression, but it is also going to be a fantasy book as well. I have pretty much got …
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First time in months I woke up with a smile on my face.
September 4, 2009 10:52pm
I had an awesome dream last night that had me waking up with a real smile on my face not one of those that you fake so people don't know that …
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How do I talk to the people in my life?
September 1, 2009 9:16pm
I recently recieved advice to talk to the people in my life about the way that I've been feeling. How do I do that though? I've only meet one …
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Hugbook
Hug
You are not worthless hun, im sorry you feel like that about yourself......keep strong......
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Hug
Hey there, thought you could do with a hug. you will find someone that will love you for you. you should not feel worthless, you need to think better of yourself, love to be friend and help each other.........i want you to see you are a special person.......
Hug
hang in there hun theres somebody out der who will love you for you cause your a great person
Hug
I commented on your journal. Please reach out.
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From shallowbay
August 25
*BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG HUGS*
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
: Clinical (Major) DepressionI believe everything began when I was younger. I was closer to my papaw than I was to my parents. I spent most of my time with him. When I was six he passed away at his home and I was there. I felt as if my world was ripped apart and there were alot of things that I didn't understand then. I started to shut myself off from people because I didn't know who to handle it and noone talked to me. The older I got I began to feel like I wanted to die or that I wanted something bad to happen to me. I tried to talk to my mom about this in middle school but she blew it off. So I started to close off from people even more. I am the oldest of four kids so I was not the important one I had the responsiblities the others did not have. The older I got I just kept to myself. I had my famliy tease me about being overweight, and I began to believe that I was ugly. Everything that I have I've struggled for and my siblings have always excelled and I felt second rate to them. Then my grandmother and brother both became sick and I was the one who always had to take care of them. No matter what my life was unimportant. I tried once again in High School after all this happened to talk to my mom and she laughed about it and asked if I was depressed because we were poor. After that I completely shut down from everyone. Because I was important to anyone. I began to lie to my parents about having friends because it made them happy. I began living my life to make others happy. I felt that I would be better off dead. Then things got to where all of my parents problems I could blame on myself because I was born before my parents had even been married for a whole year. I felt that the world would be better off if I weren't in it. I decided that I wasn't allowed to be happy because my decsions weren't the ones my parents would make for me and they made me feel bad about my decsions because of it. So how can I be happy if I don't have any support.
Treatments
- Writing Working / Worked
- It worked for awhile but it began to stop helping all of my poems come out to be self hating.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- I was happy but still had thoughts of suicide.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- I have only had one friend who helped me and I cant talk to him anymore because I cant reach him. I tried to open up to ohters but they made me fell like I was being oh woe is me and having a pity party. So that officially stopped working.
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