numbinSD

Close Depression
: Clinical (Major) Depression

Too young to be old, too old to be young!! Have dedicated the past 20 years to raising five children, one with special needs, and all but one have flown the coop. Although I have kept myself very busy volunteering for various organizations, I find myself wondering what my purpose iin life is now. I used to be extremely social, physically active, loved cooking and reading. Now, I feel I have accomplished a lot by showering, keeping the house in decent order and putting something on the table for dinner. I find myself isolating more and more which seems to be common with other family members in their 40's. My mother is bi-polar, my father had severe anxiety. I've always thought of myself as more like my dad because I am such an outgoing person but have seemed to have lost the desire to be around others. I have tried almost every med on the market but have terrible side effects and cannot stand the thought of gaining weight which usually happens. I finally agreed, due to the fact that my marriage is suffering greatly, to see a psychiatrist but I am worried all they will do is medicate me and send me off. I've tried therapy but nothing ever seems to get accomplished (same subject, different week). I have self-medicated with small doses of alcohol (okay, a few times big doses) but all that does is create worse symptoms as you all know. Most people would never guess I have depression as I am very good at masking. I love to smile, I love to talk, I love to laugh and I love being around others. Unfortunately, all of those things seem to be vanishing.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

It seems to make me think more negatively as you share history youd rather forget

Prozac Not Working

Horrible side effects turned me from extremely passive to very aggressive.

Effexor Not Working

Gained weight made heart race I have SVT

Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful

They are Norwegian what can I say. They suggest getting back into runningexercise. If I could motivate myself Id be there and they dont understand why I cant just get going.

Lexapro Not Working

Gained weight made heart race

Zoloft Not Working

Made heart race

Wellbutrin Working / Worked

Best I felt in years and then I broke out with welts around my torso.

Celexa Working / Worked

Gained weight heart raced.