Join Now
krisrose 
one hour until i go back to work! i've missed the kids so much! even though i sense some tension from some of the other teachers the kids are always glad to see me! i stopped taking the birth control two days ago and i have felt a ton better ever since. i also applied for a service dog online! i'm going to milk this for all the positive i can get. i've always wanted to be able to take my dog to school with me! i'm going to move back home to oklahoma in a month, which is both exciting and scary at the same time! there are a lot of bad memories mixxxed in with the good, but it only has to be as traumatic as i want it to be. the same with this illness. i plan on starting a band with my fiance in the summer, and going on tour with him in july. he asked if all that would change now that i'm sick and i said "hell no!" i can sleep in the car/van between shows if i need to and nothing cheers me up like meeting new people and seeing old friends who love the underground punk scene as much as i do. i am only slightly disapointed that my fiance keeps saying things like 'it's not ideal, but i made an agreement.' and stuff along those lines about my illness and our future. i am still me! i am the same person he fell in love with and asked to marry him, the same person who he wants to have his children, the same person who loves him completely with all the problems that he has as well! he doesn't really even believe i don't want this! or that i am somehow making this up to suit my own needs! I am the one that thinks this in not ideal! he can walk away anytime he likes. this is my life! i would never wish this on myself or anyone else! i'm afraid he'll just become tired of it all and leave, or even worse. stay because he said he would! god! how romantic can you get! sweep a girl off her feet why don't you? nothing a girl in love wants to hear more than, "i will stay with you because i said i would." just big children all dressed up like men i'm afraid. the funny thing is, the more i work with kids, the more i notice that adults act the same exact way only with a bigger vocabulary! feeling better and bitchier by the moment! sometimes its all a womann has! hope everyone else is having a good day as well!
