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jazzygoober 
4:22pm Thursday
its my mums funeral today and im not quite sure how to deal with it.. i harmed for the first time in a while yesterday, gave in to the voices.. but i took it to far this time.. again ive covered them up but its still obvious i have harmed as they are bleeding slightly. i had the urge last night just to keep cutting and cutting i wouldn't have cared if i was covered head to toe in cuts.. the thoughts of suicide are screaming in my head its hard not to listen to them. i just want to scream and scream but it makes no difference! the voices are becoming reality today.. huge urges to answer them as it will make everything easier i knew i would out live my mum but never knew she would die when i was 18..
Comments
I could never imagine what you are going through with your mum dieing,. breaks my heart. I hope you can get through the day, dont you have anyone who you can talk to? It pains me to see you like this, I hope you can resist the temptations you are feeling. Thinking of you....
ShazzerInc
Its a difficult time for you but you will be with the people that are close to you and your mum today, my thoughts will be with you today.
I'm presuming you have got professional help especially at this difficult time in your life ? Your mum would want you to take care of you and have a happy life so look after yourself ok ! M
Micall
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You need to talk to someone about the voices and the suicidal urges. There must be a crisis line there where you are. I have had voices lately myself and although I haven't cut in a while I have done it plenty in the past. Your Mom's death is not your fault, so don't punish yourself.
stevebhopes
SWEETHEART,I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS ,YOUR MUM ,WOULD WANT FOR YOU TO GO ON AND GROW OLD,AND HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE,RIGHT NOW SHE IS PRAYING FOR YOU ,BELIEVE IN MIRACLES,AND DON'T LISTEN TO THE VOICES,ASK 'JESUS TO HELP YOU',CALL ON HIS NAME TO SILENCE THE VOICES,AND DON'T HARM AGAIN,WE HERE ARE GOING TO SUPPORT YOU,WE LOVE YOU ,KEEP WRITING HOW YOU FEEL AND SHARE THE PAIN,IN TIME THE PAIN WILL EASE,FOR NOW GRIEVE AND CRY,LET THE TEARS WASH YOUR PAIN ,DON'T HOLD OWN,LET IT GO.
LORD JESUS ,YOU LOVE THIS CHILD,PLEASE HELP HER IN THIS DIFFICULT TIME,DELIVER HER FROM THE ENEMY VOICES,AND MAKE HER WHOLE,HEAL HER MIND,BODY AND EMOTIONS,BY YOUR STRIPES SHE IS HEALED,BE HEALED IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST,NOW AND FOREVER,IN HIS LOVE LUCY...
JOYHOLY